A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey i need help as i am 16 and i have just started college and i fancy my 35 year old tutor. He takes me for most of my classes and i cant stop thinking about him. It started strangley from the first time i had him realy as he seemed really nice and very funny. He is just the type of person i really want as a boyfriend. I also feel for him when i am at home and i try to look for him on facebook and places like that. He has told all my class that he is leaving after christmas which has crushed me. :( I keep feeling as though i need to tell him before he goes but i dont want to incase it gets round my group and i dont wanna get me and him in trouble. I feel i already come across abit too much as i have made him his favourite food once at college for lunch and also i have got him a christmas present. As it is college i can talk to him like a friend so i keep trying to find out more about him. i just am really in love with him and i have no idea what to do.I have told 2 people who i very much trust and they have not helped me but also not laughed at me either. I am scared to tell anyone else cause he is not the best looking person but he is to me and i dont want it getting to him or them laughing at me :SI dont really wanna tell my parents either cause i know what they will say. Something like this is a stupid feeling that will just pass in a while.Please someone help me because i dream about him most nights and my heart hurts everytime i know that i cant tell him. Thank you From LWx
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2010): Hey I have overcome this problem at last I have told myself that i cant have him and it has worked YAY :) thank you everyone for the help The only thing which isnt that bad is that he said he was leaving which i thought was gonna be good as it would of helped me get ovr him but he has stayed which is actually alright as when i look at him he doesnt make my heart jump any more he just seems like a teacher to me now.I am now glad i only see him as a teacher cause he is a fantastic teacher :DFrom LW:)
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (10 December 2009):
It's not a stupid feeling, though there will be a few people out there who will say it. I'm afraid though, that it is an impossible situation. It can't be, because he's a teacher and you're the student, and that's it. I know you fancy him. Most people at some time have fancied a teacher, because they represent the first contact we have with mature people who seem to have something with their lives. You fancy him, because you like what you see in him. There will be other guys who will shame some of the same qualities. You'll never meet a guy who is the same, but you can meet someone who perhaps is confident, outgoing, interesting and such. I'm afraid you have to be brave and let him go, because even if you said something, it would be illegal for something to happen, since he is your teacher (whether he's leaving or not). Let him go, focus on your life and focus on going out with friends, and you'll get over him and meet someone else.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2009): Hey, I think this is like having a crush on a celebrity - not that that makes it less emotional. You may see your tutor as a person but really you have no idea what their life is like and who they love and what they are like at home or around their friends. You are in an artificial relationship! But there is nothing wrong with having a crush on someone, apart from the fact that it can be painful and embarrassing. It is a normal part of growing up (though some people never outgrow it, think of Barry Manilow fans). It may be a way of finding out what qualities you like in a person, so that when you finally do fall in love with someone who can return your feelings, and who you have things in common with, you know what you are looking for. He sounds like an OK guy, so your taste is obviously good! But take care you don't go out with someone else you have a crush on. Being in love is a two-way, equal thing - very different!
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