A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:my first cousin and i have always been close. we barely saw each other when we were little due to him living in another country, yet when he can to visit with his mum we always hung out. i didnt see him for about 6 or 7 years and he was 18 when i saw him next. he'd come over by himself so he was staying with us. we were just talking one nyt and the topic got onto the weird attraction we'd always had for one another, even as kids. only thing that happend that nyt was we kissed and it felt really good. a few months later i went overseas to visit him and we ended up sleeping together a few times. when i got back i didnt speak to him for a while as i was a little weirded out by the whole thing but we've been talking alot lately online and he told me the other day that he loves me and wants me to hav his child. thing is i recently gave birth to my little boy so i don't know what to do.i love my cousin to pieces but if we did have a kid together we wouldn't tell anyone because of the problems it would cause. it keeps going over and over in my head whether or not i shud agree to it. advice please, if any of this makes any sense
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female
reader, ashlydance33  +, writes (30 January 2012):
 You just had a son. Do you have a brother or sister? If not, then for this comparison imagine that you do. Think of it this way: Would you want your brother or sister's daughter to have a baby or romantic relationship with your son? Empathy is a powerful thing.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2012): I see you are getting a lot of flack, and I hate to add to it, but you say you just had a child, so it seems to me you have made a commitment that will last as long as the child does. Get the facts. Here is a reference An Association between Kinship and Fertility of Human Couples Agnar Helgason et al. SCIENCE vol. 329 no. 5864 February 8, 2008 page 813 - 816You can buy it from sciencemag.org or you can do some reading on nobabies.net for free. I would suggest buying the article. Always look at the primary source.What I think you'll find is that, contrary to prejudice, the best thing you can do for children and the best thing you can do FOR children is marry a cousin. Maybe first cousin is a bit close. You'll have to decide that after reading the article carefully. There just is not good data on the point. But marry a stranger? There the data is exellent, and it looks (I think you'll find. Again don't take my word. These are facts.) like you penalize yourself in terms of having children and penalize their chance of children.All the best luck. You do have some decisions to make and I wish you well.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2012): How would you explain this to your family?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthe laws over here have no restictions on first cousin relationships
and he only asked cuz he was meaning in a few years when my lil boys older
and i do want another kid, though not ryt now
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (30 January 2012):
 If he is your first cousin, I'm not even sure that is "legal" morally or otherwise. If you two DO decide to have a child together, you need to have genetic counseling.You just had a baby, do you really need another one now? Take time to figure out what you really want (not what HE wants) before you do it.
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A
male
reader, Sir-T  +, writes (30 January 2012):
"Inbred or intrafamial children, in general, may have physical deformations due to the increase in homozygousity - genes which dictate physical characteristics. They may also have lower brain function (i.e. lower intelligence). There are also studies to suggest that products of inbreeding and intrafamilial relationships suffer from emotional problems and sexual dysfunction."If this is what you want for your child amid all the many family problems you would encounter then you still do not have my blessing :D.You need to let a family member in on this so they can stop you two. Please don't it's just wrong.
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A
female
reader, AuntyAlexxmo +, writes (30 January 2012):
 I know you cant help how you feel but you need to think about this rationally.It is illegal.It will mean having to lie to your family or rip them apart.The child could have all sorts of medical issues.If you get found out there is a large chance you will have the child taken away.If the child was lucky enough to be healthy would you want your parents to be related? how unfair?!It is just wrong, i am sorry but it is.
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2012): You already have a child. How are you even supporting this other child and where is Dad? Also, what are your future plans/dreams?If you have to hide then its not a good idea to do whatever it is you are hiding. Lying never brings happiness or joy. Just pain and sorrow.
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A
female
reader, AbigailBradbury +, writes (29 January 2012):
 I know that you can't help who you have feelings for my love, but this is wrong.The implications of this relationship would be awful, for you and your family.This isn't worth the trouble. If your friend told you this, if they were in your situation, what would you say to them?? just think before you do anything...
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2012): I don't know if you "love" your cousin in the way your telling yourself you do. And it would be completely inappropriate and unfair for the child you want to bring into this world, just stop what your going and learn from your mistakes.
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