A
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: So I find this a bit weird as I can't really talk to anyone about this. My cousin started flirting with me and it all started last year. I told him once not to and he avoided me due to embarrassment. But he started it again. Anyway he's been hot/cold with me for a very long time now. Every time I try to address his awkward behaviour with me, he completely ignores me or avoids me. What am I supposed to do? I've always been close to this cousin of mine and I don't want that to get ruined. Please help!!!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionRight, I text my cousin yesterday and said that I don't want any contact with him and that he hasn't been a very good cousin to me lately. I said he's become like my part-time cousin. I told him that he's done nothing but upset, belittled me and cause confusion and also insulted me and offended me. He replied saying he's sorry that I feel that way and if that's what I wanna do then he's ok with it. He said he's coming up next week (he lives in a different city) and that he guess I won't be speaking to him. I replied saying he's not sorry and that if he was he wouldn't ignore for so long or say nasty things to me and it wouldn't have hurt. I said I don't care if he's coming up next week and he won't be seeing me and he's the reason why. He didn't reply. So few hours later I asked him if I can ask him a question. So I asked him why hasn't he been the cousin that I used to know? He didn't reply...
A
male
reader, Linton +, writes (10 September 2011):
You didn't mention whether that was first cousin or more distant. If it's first, the the biology is not ideal, possibly worse than a total stranger, but I haven't seen good numbers on that. Before screening for Rh factor was available, first cousin was a really good choice. Of course you can screen for other things too, now, so the fact he is your cousin really doesn't mean very much if you are otherwise prudent. But I'd get good professional advice before making a decision. Here is an article [A. Helgason et al., Science 319 813 (2008)] You can buy it pretty cheap from sciencemag.org. It goes into how from a biological standpoint cousins more distant than first are a very good choice. The journal is put out by the American Association for the Advancement of Science; you don't get more prestigious than that.Of course, biology aside if you think he's being a jerk, then it's up to him to shape up. Talking to other family wouldn't be a bad idea, but I'd get the facts from that article first.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your response Emily. I just knew the way things were going everything was ruined and I tried to maintain good relations with my cousin. It's like he doesn't understand and that he needs to grow up. I miss talking to him like normal and when I ask him if things are good between me and him, or even if he's ok he just blatantly ignores me :(
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2011): Hi sweetness,
Unfortunately it is ruined already. His attitude suggests him being more than just pathetic and seeing his cousin in a different way. Hot / cold means he has deep feelings for you! You have been honest and clear with him telling him to stop, and he should get that no means NO. However, he continues!
You are a young beautiful princess and no one shall force you to do what you don't want to. Talk to some older member of your family, and if he doesn't stop report him to the police. He lacks decency and is trying to force and manipulate you into this.
Best luck xxx
Emily
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