A
female
age
30-35,
*azel chloe
writes:Hello guys I really need some good advice,i am in a very complicated situation!So 4 years ago I was 16 I dated this guy but only for a one month(we were very close friends before anything) he was my first love and I really loved him,but for some reasons my family had to move to another country we stayed in touch with the guy but we ended up just breaking up !Then my cousin fell in love with him and they dated for about a year,when she told me I was shocked but I wasn't in love with him anymore therefore it didn't matter that much!2 years later the guy and I started emailing each other again and calling each other and honestly it was just friendship nothing but platonic friendship!I didn't have feelings for him anymore!! They were still dating and it wasn't a problem to me I really didn't mind!We became really close and unfortunately they broke up! My cousin cheated on him! Nothing changed between us we stayed friends and he had actually moved too so we were living not far away from each other! Then he started liking me and he told me and I told him I didn't like him that way for me he was my friend!And that was a year ago and recently (2months ago)I fell in love with him!deeply in love as in I can't sleep without talking to him or seeing him!!And now am so confused because I don't want to hurt my cousin I really feel bad about it!I know it's unethical and she still has some feelings for him!I can't just ignore that but I really love that guy and he loves me too!If I let him to make my cousin happy I will Be unhappy and if I go for him then my cousin will be mad(just because I didn't get mad doesn't mean she won't )!But I am really confused !Please helpThank you
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, girlygirl601 +, writes (25 July 2010):
Honestly, it really wasn't too cool for your cousin to date someone that you've dated. I don't even date guys that my friends have been involved with or has tried to hit on my friends. Its just too complicated and there are plenty of men to go around.
I think she was kinda the one being unethical more so than you are. It doesn't hurt to talk to your cousin about it and I agree that you shouldn't fall out with her over it. But I would kinda be mindful of the fact that she will date a guy that you've dated.
A
female
reader, LLindy87 +, writes (25 July 2010):
 perhaps you should talk to your cousin about it. Tell her how you have feelings for him again, let her know that you understand that she does too.
Or
You can decide to let her have him, sacrificing your own happiness and feelings. or you can go for him, disregarding your cousin's feelings.
This is why I think you should talk about this with your cousin, tell her that you don't want a guy to come between you two but you can't help how you feel now. Maybe she will understand, or maybe you can let the guy decide on who he wants to date. maybe he doesn't want either of you, maybe he just wants you or maybe he wants her. its complicated, but please don't let a guy come between family. guys come and go but your cousin will be your cousin forever.
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