A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My cousin and I have been secretly together for seven yrs off and on,I tried to stop several times,but I can't Im in love with him and, he knows it. When i try to leave him alone he becomes so angry and mean,it makes me cry! I dream about it when I am not with him. He wants me to be totally his, I do love him,sometimes he makes love to me for 4 hrs straight! What should I do?
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female
reader, tiggy2011  +, writes (26 January 2011):
I was in a relationship much like your own for several years with my first cousin. It was intense and addictive and the sex was nothing like i've ever had or ever had since. There was a connection that i couldnt possibly put words to. We could spend an entire night just talking, about what, i cant remember now. And we could spend an entire night making love and when it was time to part, it always felt too short. It took us about 3-5 months to muster up the courage to share our first kiss, and when that happened there was no stopping us. However, unfortunately for us we got discovered, not in any compromising position or anything, but we were confronted by family. It was the longest night of my life sitting in front of my parents and aunt, them discovering at the age of 18 that i was sexually active with my 18 year old first cousin. Seeing the shame and embarrassment on our families faces at what we had caused, was too much to face. Inside i was seething and defiant, i wanted to reach out to him and comfort him and tell him, we'll find a way. Even though we were discovered and made to admit to our relationship, we continued our relationship in feared secrecy. But the enormity of how much it had affected our entire family was too much too handle for either of us. I left the country, stayed away and eventually married. He will always remain a huge part of my life because he was my first love, my forbidden love. And to that end, i say follow your heart, if the love you share is worth fighting for then go for it.
A
male
reader, willow90  +, writes (16 January 2011):
My mom and dad got married 24 years ago and they are 2nd cousins so no big deal in that time.
But I struggle with this right now and because of the difference between 1980s and the 2010s is big I don't know how I will make it with my cousin.
So unless you don't struggle as it seems you don't just be open minded with this
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWe both have grown children! I can't have children anymore. Tubes tied cut and burnt. No its not illegal.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2011): My parents are half cousins and they got married 35 years ago. The thing is when human beings love each other, they find a way to work things out. In many countries there are special permissions issued to authorized this type of marriages, so if you want I would recommend you go talk to a lawyer of how you can do it. If royalty could do it back in the old days, why not the rest of us.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (10 January 2011):
 Do some research in to the laws where you are from as if it is illegal you may both end up locked up. Even if it is legal there is still the fact that you come from a religious family and they probably wont understand therefore you will be living a lie for the rest of your life if you chose to be with him.
Id be more concerned that it appears he is threatning you that you need to stay with him. This is unhealthy in any relationship and being cousins just complicates it more.
Whatever you chose to do just make sure that you are happy and that you arent doing something because you feel forced in to it. Follow your heart and not what others tell you to do. Also if you are thinking of having children remember that there is a higher risk that if you have children with your cousin that they will be born with some disability.
Goodluck.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThe answer made me feel better, I just really struggle with this because although he is an excellent lover,friend and cousin,he wants to let it be known and our family is a very religious family and everyone will turn against us. Im scared! Its getting worse,he refuse to stop and he is accusing me of wanting to b with someone else, I dont want to b with anyone else,I just can't let it b known that I am with him. But if I stop seeing him he will tell everyone! I do love him,I am so confused!
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A
female
reader, petina1 +, writes (10 January 2011):
 Many on here will not agree with this, but i think there's only one state in the US where it's against the law, cousin relationships. My son and his cousin are together (UK), and my brother and i have not spoken in four years because of it. It's not against the law in UK but there is a stigma to it with some people, and there was a massive rift in the family. I support my son, he's my only one and even though i knew there would be trouble, i still support him now and him and his cous are very good together. They love each other deeply. Do the research there's lots of it on the internet. It's like everything else, some will agree some disagree. Do what makes you happy and sod everyone else.
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A
male
reader, the_phoenic +, writes (10 January 2011):
imho
in many countries and cultures arround the glob it is very accepted and common to marry your cousin
if you love him this much and he love you this much
and IF IT IS LEGAL where you live get married to him
the community blames every one for something or another
but the community never cares about our myseries or emotions
we all remember that being gay was illegal a few years ago
Good Luck
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