A
female
age
30-35,
*iceprincessx
writes:I know you’re all going to think I’m being childish here, but please hear me out. I’m 18, and very mature for my age. Last year, I met my college lecturer, and we hit it off straight away. There was one point though where I got close to this boy and my teacher started being harsh to me and him. The same week I finished it with the boy and we drifted apart, and my teacher started being nice again. Whenever a boy at my college got close to me or flirted, he would get very moody with me. I got the tag name of teachers pet, because he would let me get off with everything. I would find him staring at me from the other side of the room.He is always complimenting me, for example one day I came in with a different hairstyle and he was saying how lovely it was and touching it. Then someone else had theirs done, and he didn’t bother saying anything to her. He’s always touching/flicking my hair and saying how nice my perfume smells. I have him this year and we have gotten closer. One time something was upsetting me and he told me, they have to go through him to get to me. He’s very protective of me, and at first I thought he saw me as a daughter figure, but now it seems that he wants something more. He knows that I fancy him (well last year) and he made it worse by getting closer.There are so many other things he does, but I’m not going to bore you any longer. We do flirt a lot, especially the whole bickering thing that students have in high school/college. I’m just confused about what this teacher wants. Does this guy have a crush on me, or is he just being a teacher? Thank you for readingUPDATE:So I'm writing the next part of the question as it's been like 4-5weeks now.It's kinda getting a bit crazy now as one of my friends likes me and my teacher isn't that happy about it.He's even warned the boy to back off from me which I think is stupid,as this Is my personal life!even though I've made it clear I dont like my friend back.My teacher gets really jealous when guys approach or I talk about them and starts asking all these questions.Then giving me random compliments saying how pretty I am :/.I still catch him staring at me especially when I'm around with male friends.So what is this strange behaviour?From what I can see he has feelings for me but I need your opinion from the outside.Thank you for reading
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crush, flirt, jealous, my teacher Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2011): I'm a teacher, and I can see that his behavior is really unprofessional! I would NEVER interact with a student in that way! If it makes you uncomfortable, you should talk to him diplomatically, and tell him how you're feeling.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2011): I'm not going to insult you by saying this is all in your head because maybe he is flirting or playing along, but if you are using a lot of brain power to analyse his every move then chances are this is more one sided than you want to accept deep down. These are called fantasy relationships and it's tempting to avoid real ones by letting your imagination get high jacked by a man who isn't making any moves, a man of inaction. You have pinned on this man feelings and intentions that are wish fulfillment, not what he actually feels or intends. Not to say he doesn't enjoy the banter or playing along in the role you created for him but at the end of the day, his attention is elsewhere, or on someone else. When a man wants to be with you he will and you won't find yourself creating excuses why he isn't or convincing yourself his lack of action means he's secretly pining away for you..he isn't.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2011): Would you really want to become involved with ANYONE that is that possessive and threatened by others? If it is bad now, it will only get worse.At any rate, I don't like it when people say they are 'mature for their age'. If you are really that mature you will not need to state it like a child wearing her mother's clothes and make-up and pronouncing they are 'a grown up now!'.Secondly, no mature person would dare continue with this little game you have with your lecturer. Now the ages are irrelevant to me, seeing as you are both legal adults, but a teacher has boundaries and rules and respect. They are their to teach and guide young and enquiring minds, not manipulate them into relationships.I am not naive enough to think there can't be a connection, or a chemistry between a teacher and a student, to the extent that it is bordering on inappropriate. Feelings can develop between anyone in any circumstance. However, as a teacher he is supposed to remain impartial and unbiased.He is also legally required to not liaise with students. This is the sort of stuff that gets a person fired from their job and shoved onto a sex offenders register.Try to minimise your contact with this man and not to pay any more attention to what he thinks about you or your personal life than any other student would. If he continues, warn him that you will report him.Flynn 24
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A
female
reader, AnonGirl88  +, writes (19 April 2011):
Hi.
I think your lecturer is being inappropriate with you and you should maybe talk to him privately and address your concerns. If he continues to inappropriate you should report him to his superior and ask him not to behave in this manner with you. It really is not on at all.
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