A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Background: My girlfriend and I have been dating for about 4 month. I'm 18 a senior and she's 16 a junior, we're both in high school. Our first couple months together were a blast; we would hang with each other almost everyday. She was perfect in every way and I accepted her for who she was and she loved me very much the same, but it wasn't until a little after the 3rd month things got awkward for some reason. She finally broke up with me saying she needed some space and that her life was too complicated to handle a boyfriend, work, and school all at once. (The place she works is like a slave house-long hours, lots of work). Her other reasons included: she didn't feel the same way about me as before, fear of the future when I will go to college (3 hours away) while she’s stuck here with high school and said she couldn't see herself handling distance in a LDR.I gave her the time and space she needed to get her thoughts together, and after about three weeks we talked it out and got back together, she saying she made a mistake and wanted to be with me. I'm thankful she came back to me, but she said she’s still really confused and still doesn’t know what she want. She once told me that when I go to college it was like “an expiration date.” I didn’t know what that meant so I talked to her about it. She said “I don’t put in as much effort into our relationship as you do; you are so willing to put that much effort into coming back to visit (I was planning to visit twice a month). Not the effort that I would give back.”“I just don’t think you should hold onto your past; college is where you can just start over.” I told her “Your past is what makes you who you are, you’re bringing your past with you everywhere you walk; I can’t be the person I am now if it wasn’t for what I’ve been through. To me college isn’t a start; it’s an add-on, not a new beginning but something you build your life on, just like our relationship.” She replies “It’s going to be MY senior year also, that makes a different.” (My plan was to visit twice a month, but I don’t get why she can’t have two days with me to hang out, and use the rest of her time for her “senior year”.)She also thinks college is another opportunity to meet new people, and thinks that in college I’ll have a chance to meet another girl I like. But I don’t get why it is so hard to convince her that she’s the only one I see, that giving other women a thought is just not me.She’s not my first girlfriend, but she’s the first girl to make me feel such strong emotions towards her. The first girl I KNOW has feelings for me. I definitely know she’s not a girl that would cheat on me. Every time I’m not around her I just WANT to be with her, but when she has these doubts of the future, I can’t seem to change her views from a gloomy one without me to a happy one with me. Question: How do I convince my girlfriend that college doesn’t have to be the “expiration date” to our relationship? That we can continue to build our relationship without this “new beginning crap?” Thank you for any responses.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2011): Im not trying to sound like a d*ck but just get over it.
How I see it is that you think she is your everything and you've hung out alot... So what?
I see this all the time you don't want to be alone so you spend all your time into the relationship,
She is 16 and a junior do you really think she wants to be tied down with a long distance relationship. I mean really she obvisously wants to enjoy her senior year and have fun.
Do her a favor and let her live her live her life
She doesn't love you, she is trying to break up with you.... Don't you see that?
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