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male
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anonymous
writes: Hi Everyone!!I Need HELP!! but my problem is a bit unusual....some might think it even as being funny...but its bugging me really bad....let me explain.I am a 31 year old male but everyone says I look much younger and I really do look youger. The problem is there is this girl at the place I work. She is just 18 years old. We joined the place at the same time but weren't mates till about 1 1/2 months ago when I started teasing her for some reason that I cannot even remember, but since then we became good office mates. I was away from work for about 1 month and when I came back to work, as soon as she saw me she came running and gave me a hug and told how glad she was to see me again (mind you I haven't even touched her before). But since then she has always form some reason for other coming and leaning against me or leaning against me from behind, touching my hair, and of all the things. Brushing her breasts against me as well, most of the time!Now this may sound strangem but all this is really making me uncomfortable because my colleagues are starting to give me the looks and making nasty comments! Can anybody please tell me what's going on?? Cos she is a nice girl and I don't wanna lose her friendship by telling her off.Is she flirting with me or is it just innocent friendship? Either way, I feel it's not a good thing at office. I need advice pleeeeeeeeeese....
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2005): Are you interested in more than an office friendship with this girl, dear? Brushing her breasts against you, is not "innocent friendship". She's giving you some pretty bold messages that she's interested. But before you jump the gun here, I would observe her and see if you are "the only" recipient of her attentions. Some woman are are flirts...obviously, people who flirt, generally like or need attention from the opposite sex. But she could be interested in 'just you'. Just go slow.
Like I said to one previous reader-to take note of the age gap. I have known several relationships between very young women and adult men. Not one of the relationships survived more than a few year, in some cases, months! The age difference was a too big of a factor, in their cases. But there are some age gap relationships that can survive quite nicely. It really depends on the committment and maturity level of the two people involved. The only thing I can say, is just think of how you were at 18. Something to ponder, because there are plenty of wonderful women in their 20's and 30's who are available. My rule of thumb is to build relationships with someone who shares the same common interests as yourself and has the same level of maturity. Good luck
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2005): Yes,she is flirting with you! Do you need a roadmap? Talk to her. If you want to go out on a date with her, ask her. Then talk to her about using a little more discretion at work. She will understand if she wants a second date. If she doesn't, you probably don't have anything to worry about in the future. She may be just a tease, so don't think because she is being so physical at work, where you can't do anything about it, that she will be an octopus with you when you are alone. On the other hand, she may be all over you when you get her alone. The only way to find out is to ask her out, and let things take their course. I am sure you can say No, if you mean for things to slow down or stop. When I was in college, I met a young woman who was making all kinds of moves on me in a semipublic circumstances when I hardly knew her. I asked her out for a date, intrigued as to why she was coming onto me so strongly. Before we had driven a block from her dormitory, she had my pants zipper down, and her hand on my jewels. I had to tell her to stop and wait until we could find some place more private than sitting at a stop side next to a bus stop, with about 40 college students looking through the car windows. She was something else. Very nice, and a bright young woman, who went on to earn a Master's degree in English Literature, I believe. But she was very horny, and way ahead of me at the time. She taught me a lot of things about myself and about sex that I will always remember fondly. What can it hurt you to ask the lady out? As long as you are not her boss, so that you might be setting yourself for a sexual harrassment suit, there is no reason for two people who work together to not date.
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