A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:So my ex left me 2 months ago and it has been heartbreaking. She said that us living too far away from each other led her to believe that us ending up together was very unlikely and that we were headed in different directions in life. But I knew that there were other underlying problems as well and even some that I could improve upon. So I asked her what I could do to improve myself because she broke up with me. She said that me being clingy and needy was suffocating and I realized that may have been the real reason for the breakup because out of the entire year that we were together those reasons that she said for our breakup never popped up. However she has stated that she needs some space when we were together. So within the past two months I've realized my problem and have been reading self help books to make sure I don't ever become too clingy or needy ever again. But in reality I realized that it all stemmed from the fact that I loved every single day that I was with her and I just loved her too much. And all this love that I had for her just brought out a clingy nature in me. However, within the past two months she also has a new boyfriend which she started dating 2 weeks after ending things with me. Which makes me believe that she may have lost feelings for me towards the end of the relationship. Even after correcting my faults I was wondering is there still a chance that she can come back to me?My question is should I ask her if there's a chance of her and me happening again?
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broke up, my ex, needs some space Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2010): I would not advise asking her whether there's a chance of reconciliation - it will just confirm your ex's beliefs about you beeing needy and clingy. She needs to want you back for her own reasons, not yours.
One thing to bear in mind that the expressions "clingy" and "needy" are subjective.
It could be that you were indeed smothering her with love, or it could be that she had started to fall out of love with you for other reasons, and was feeling uncomfortable by your continued demonstrations of affection when she no longer felt the same. This could have make her feel guilty, and she projected that guilt onto you by making out it was your issue not hers.
So try not to blame yourself too much.
Sounds like you're in a similar situation to me (same timescale, similar-ish reasons given by my ex when she ended it. I have no idea whether she's seeing someone else now though). I also started being "clingy", but that was when I finally began to acknowledge that I had probably just been a rebound/distraction for her, and she wasn't really into me any more. I was so blinded by love that, instead of just backing away and showing equal indifference, I cranked up the affection.
So I guess both of us behaved foolishly. But neither of us shoulld feel guilty for loving their partner. Our exes obviously didn't want our love. Their loss not ours! Your ex moved on within two weeks; mine dumped me by text. How much does that say about how genuine they both were!?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2010): ~WALK AWAY~
She does not appreciate or want your love...never was...still isn't...and never will be.
PATIENCE~
When you least expect it, Your True Special Someone will embrace, treasure and reciprocate the most demanded Love Potion that the girl you speak of above will wish of again.
Move on.
God Bless.
...............................
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