A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi guys... this is a long one but please advise! My 22 year old stepsister got physically abused by her boyfriend yesterday. She's been living with me for 4 months but spend most of those nights sleeping over at his place. She met him 3 months ago.Anyway, he's become jealous and demanding. Yesterday afternoon she said she's going over to his place to pick up stuff that she left at his place and is going to break up with him. She never returned and was supposed to go to work later that evening (she promotes in night clubs). Her cell was switched off.She came back this afternoon and said her boyfriend locked her in, smacked her, bit her, theatened to hit her with a glass bottle because he didn't want her to go to work since she's supposed to start on Thursday and not on a Wednesday (the promo company asked her to work the extra day). She has small light bruises, one on her arm the other on her boob. She said her face was swollen a bit from the smack.I immediately went to his work to confront him, he admitted to locking her in but denied beating claiming that he held her back. He couldn't give me any answers accept for they had a arguement and that's why he didn't let her go. I told him to stay away from her.Today she was turned away from the promo job and replaced by another girl. She's missing out on good money and this is her only job.It's been a couple of hours since I've confronted him and has been texting her non stop with apologies. He tried to call me but I ignored his calls. He text me to say sorry. I'm not forgiving and nothing that he said in his text is valid or justify a reason to forgive him.(I know this is too long to read but you're nearly done... please keep reading because I need your help)I got hold of my sister's phone and read through the texts they've send each other since the whole saga took place. She's forgiven him, saying that she'll go back to him... she just wants me to calm down... he's trying to manipulate her by saying she's an adult and she shouldn't allow me to make decisions for her. And he's all about "baby-baby... my angel... i love you.... I'm crying"She's being stupid and falling for all the crap he's been texting her. I'm pissed at her for being an idiot and making a fool of me because I stood up and fought for her and she's paying me back by running back to him. She made light of my threats to him because even though I told him to stay away from her she made it easy for him to get hold of her.She doesn't know I went through her texts or how I feel about the situation now. How do I stop her from being such a fool and going back to this abuser who'll obviously hurt her again?I'm thinking of giving her an ultimatum... if she goes back to him then she shouldn't bother coming back to live with me and if he beats her again then it'll be her problem to deal with.Is it right of me to do this.Help!
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you Cerberus, that sounds like very good advise.
A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (26 November 2010):
 You are her sister. Do not turn away from her just yet. Believe it or not, it is equally as hard for her to let go of him as it is for you to watch this happen to her. Let her go back to him but warn her, make her PROMISE that if he EVER so much as threatens her again, she will leave him. I think the police should get involved. I do believe locking someone in a room and beating them counts as a form of kidnapping and assault. Let her know that you are there but you cannot watch her get hurt all the time. Warn her that her life is actually in danger if she goes back to him. There are so many other guys out there who can give her love, who will cherish her as if she were the most precious thing in the world, they would never hurt her or threaten her. Tell her she should find one of those and leave this monstrosity behind.
I hope that helps.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2010): You need to take some photos of her bruises, etc. If she goes back, this will happen again. Hopefully, you can convince her to file a police report. I hope that you don't give her an ultimatium though, because she's going to need you when he beats her again.
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A
female
reader, babygurl123  +, writes (26 November 2010):
Well i was like this my bf did but i finally got a way its hard becase u think hes changed and has not..he might have just my opion and i was also afraid he was going to do something for the worse like hurt my family etc...
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