A
female
age
41-50,
*agar
writes:i got involved with a guy in the university and in our final year i got pregnant and asked me to abort and i refused by then i was 29years of age so i told my mum about it an she called him to asked if he knew i was pregnant for him,accepted and that was it. in my all the period it was me till my mum fallen sick and died when i was only 2months from giving birth. he was so caring and loving when i i lost my mum and even went to the extend to let me lived in their house with his parent for two months then i went back to my house there and then his attitude changed again, he started going out with a different girl and i took a bold step to go out of town to get myself a job while in the new town i meet this guy who so caring, loving and went to be with me, so we started going out but now my child's father wants to come back to me. one painful thing is that he is not taking up his responsibility as a father, i have been taking care of my child from pregnancy to date, but the thing is that i love the other guy so much and he makes me happy and i still have something little for my baby's father so confused. please advise me.
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male
reader, Serpico  +, writes (30 November 2012):
I get tired of typing this here, but wouldn't it be a good idea to make sure that someone treats you well BEFORE you have children with them? Once you have kids, that person is in your life forever, like them or not.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2012): There's no confusion here OP something little is not enough, he has shown you he can't be relied upon to protect your feelings and to love you without question. This new guy is good for you so why ruin that? And no, just because it would make you a family again is not a good reason he never wanted that family so why should he get it now?
OP things are fine the way they are, just let him know you make better friends and that's the way it's always going to be. He can't talk like this anymore or put you in this situation if the new guy finds out you've been letting him act this way you'll lose him and he'll never trust you again.
Stop playing these games. Your ex is a good friend but you and he don't work well as lovers.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (30 November 2012):
 I think it's too late. He had his chance to be a father and boyfriend to you but he chose to meet someone new. He's asking for another chance, only after you are dating a nice guy. Has he declared himself to be totally single? I think he wants you because he doesn't want anyone else to have you. It's also a pride thing that he doesn't want another man to be a father figure to his child. His being nice when your your mom died does not weigh enough considering that the niceness did not carry on, and he took you for granted, and left for the same reason like at the beginning. You still needed him full time but he wasn't there.
Even if the unlikely chance that you got married to your ex, you can't trust that he will be attentive to your needs. Sure people mature, but when someone broke your heart you will tend towards giving a new person a chance, who would never dream of hurting you ever.
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