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male
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*dam
writes: Hi, my name is Adam. I got married 7 years ago. We met throught her parents. Within two months we decide to get married. After one year, our daughter was born. She loves me more then her mum. After the birth, my wife started taking A-class drugs for four years, then I registered her in rehab for treatment. Because I love my wife, I spent all my income on her. Now it's more than two years. She is off from drugs and on medicine. While I was busy working and taking care of home and my daughter, also trying to keep my family life in balance.Whatever my wife asked I tried to give her. During that period she start saying she is not happy with me because on very 1st day she didn't want to get married. But her parents said 'Adam is a good boy and you will be happy with him'.Last year I was a bit busy in my work and she got addmision in college for study, where she met a boy who is same age of my wife, while i am 6 years older than my wife. I think this is not a big age difference.She start cheating and then decided to get married to him.I find out she is badly involved with him. He texted her to take her out while I was babysitting.When she went out, she told me she is going for study. She kicked me out and her new boyfriend moved into my house.After 5 months again she called me back and finished with boyfriend. I spend all my money again to keep her happy and try to solve every problem. But a month later I found she still links with that man. Our divorce case is in court.Still I love her and can't live without my daughter. Now I can't think any more what to do, or how I can save my marrige. I don't want to lose my daughter. Also my daughter loves me so much.Please I need help and advice on how to handle this.adam
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2006): The only thing worth rescuing from this relationship is indeed your daughter (subtext: do not remarry this woman).
Even though custody cases are usually badly stacked against men, in this case you have an ideal history on your side of being the more caring, stable, and responsible half of your marriage. These things coupled with your wife's problems should make the court look on you favourably.
If your (soon to be ex-)wife has any concern for your daughter at all, she may be willing to negotiate a custody agreement without court evaluation. It's a longshot, but if you think she may be even slightly receptive to the idea, it is really worthwhile to avoid the legal battle. Remarrying for the sake of your daughter is, of course, completely out of the question. Don't.
Prepare your case well, you have an excellent arsenal at your disposal, and she has many strikes against her already.
A
female
reader, beenthere +, writes (11 February 2006):
you don't say hwo old your daughter is. she may be able to choose which parent she wants to be with. i understand that you love your wife but after all she has done, i fear she is simply using you. keep in mind that SHE left you and that she went into rehab for drug abuse. you can use both of these facts to fight for your daughter. good luck
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