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male
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anonymous
writes: Is she Messing with me and just trying to get at me?I have been split from my ex about 3 or 4 months because she cheated and is now with the man she cheated with. I had agreed with her that for my birthday i was going to a place near her and if she would stay away for just one night. She agreed but then started to call all her friends to make sure everyone was out including her. I changed my plans to avoid her but then the next day she messaged me saying how strong i'd become and how confident i was. i never replied but i know she keeps looking at my myspace profile everyday.Is she Messing with me and just trying to get at me?
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male
reader, Lostandalone  +, writes (10 July 2006):
 I don't feel my response is sugar coated just honest. You can never judge one person by one mistake, that is insane. NO one has the right to say this woman is this and that because we don't know. The process in which I describes gives this man an oppurtunity to heal as well as find closure to the whole thing. Just "kicking someone to the curb still leaves questions unanswered and deep emotional scars. Its not always that easy and for you to imply that it is, is a sign of someone who still is nursing some scars yourself. Maybe if you had done what I suggested you would not be so bitter.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2006): Let's not sugar coat all this as 'lostandalone' has done. good grief, man-the girl cheated on you! Is that behaviour not enough to tell you what type of person she really is? It does not matter what your relationship problems were with her before she cheated. She is responsible for her actions and she made a concious decision to screw around on you. Why would you leave the lines of communication open? Why would you tell her how you feel? Kick her butt to the curb..get out and meet someone who adores you...someone you can forever trust. Cheaters are selfish people..why ask for more heartache. Get strong and just forget her.
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male
reader, Lostandalone +, writes (9 July 2006):
Personally, I think she sees what a big mistake she made and is to ashamed and pride filled to ask for your forgiveness as she finds that you new found confidence and strength is very appealing. I would never tell you to cut her off or stop talking to her thats a decision you must make because you and only you know how you feel. Have you ever asked yourself why she cheated and what were you all going thru when she did? My only advice to you is to tell her how you feel and go on about your daily life. Leave the lines of communication open. If she calls be respectful and honest but brief. If she asks you to go out say your busy or something until you are absolutely ready. This way you can get real answers and closure and you are in total control. Take it from a former cheater it works. Good Luck.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2006): Dear, instincts tell me she is playing with you. She may even still care a bit about you. But even so, you need to be strong and try your best to move ahead and simply ignore her. Look at her behaviours. She cheated on you-the trust with her was shattered and people who cheat on others are extremely selfish. She showed poor character, and a profound disrespect for you, by not keeping her heart safely in her love relationship with you. Instead it was flirting and cheating with this other guy. And now, it appears she's doing the same thing to her current bf. What are her behaviours telling you, dear? She will never be trustworthy in your eyes again. You would be smart to protect yourself, by ending your contact with this girl. If you still care and are hurting, remember that time will heal your pain. Take the lesson you have learned from all this and hold out for a girl who will be true to you.
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