A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:*OP's own title* When I was 20 my older brother liked the same girl that I did. She didn't want him she wanted me. We started going together and I fell really hard for her. We had a good relationship for a almost two years but things didn't work out. She broke up with me over something really stupid. She worked in the same place as my brother so he was able to see her everyday and tell her a bunch of things she didn't need to hear. He talked to her about my ex girlfriend and made her jealous and told her lies. He was always stirring up trouble between us. I didn't know this was going on at the time. My brother and I were not getting along. She broke up with me and told me her reason was because she did not want to keep seeing me was because she didn't want to come between brothers. I just found out all these years later from an old friend that she slept with some guy while we were together. My brother drove the guy over to her house. This happened years ago. My brother and I haven't spoken in years. Not because of my ex but for other numerous reasons. I have not seen or talked to him in years. Even though this happened a long time ago it makes me feel like this just happened. I feel betrayed and I am really hurt. I am married now and I have not thought of my ex in years. How do I deal with my feelings? Is this unusual to feel this way so many years later? I am more hurt over what she did than the things my brother did.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, IHateWomanBeaters +, writes (15 April 2010):
 People that love you as family or partners will never do anything to harm you. If they do, they don't love you and should be considered neither family nor partner.
They are simply, not meant to be in your life.
All you can do is accept that.
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (15 April 2010):
 It is not easy to forget those incidents but you should forgive your ex and your brother and lay those feeling to rest.
It is time to let go of the past and stop carrying them in your heart. Look forward and do not look backwards.
They are now history and you cannot go back and change them.
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