A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My brother and his wife split up last october as he was being unfaithfull and they are currently going through a divorce. His wife didnt mind as they both decided that the relationship didnt work. However we all stayed friends and carried on seeing each other at weekends etc. At the end of january i slept with his soon to be x-wife after a night of to many drinks. I knew it wasnt the right time and we both regretted it after.We still stayed in contact as friends like we always were, but she found out she was pregnant by me a few months ago. To do the right thing i told her i would stick by her, and she has moved to mine. We told each family to which was hard and greeted with mixed emotions.Am i doing the right thing?? my brother is barley speaking to us which is understandable me and his x were always good friends and nothing ever happened when they were together. We have lost a few friends over the matter. Am i a bad person?? Need some advice please!!
View related questions:
divorce, moved in, split up Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, escribanus  +, writes (15 June 2010):
 Firts I think you will have to accept your brother's punch on the face. He might think betrayed by you. You should tell him that you have never screw his wife, that at that moment she was his ex and you migth have thougt she was a single woman.
Second, make a DNA test, the baby may be yours, your brother's or even someone else's (never trust an injured woman who has no remorses about sleeping with her husband's brother).
lets try to be happy.
A
female
reader, raiders  +, writes (15 June 2010):
 I can see why your brother is mad at you because even if they were no longer an item you should have stayed away.
Well whats done is done and you now have to be there for her and this baby.
Even if the your family and friends get angry your responsibility is with her, and you need to stand by her side. You guys will get dirty looks, and the cold shoulder. You have proven to be a good man because the easiest thing you could have done was run and deny.
...............................
A
male
reader, TimmD +, writes (15 June 2010):
 LOL. q1605.... wow, I can tell you I actually look forward to your replies. It's the better part of my day. lol
To the poster, you're not a bad person. What happened between your brother and his wife is a bad situation, but it was not your fault. He was being unfaithful so he's got no good reason to be mad at you. You were there for your sister-in-law for her time in need, one thing led to another and here you are.
The fact that you are doing the right thing, not hiding it, and letting everybody know shows that you are being mature and responsible. That is the opposite of being a bad person.
Just be careful. When she goes from being married to your brother, than separated, than being sexually intimate with you, than pregnant, now living with you.... it can be complicated for her and it actually becomes hard to separate you and your brother in her mind. It sounds weird... but trust me, there could be come unconscious transference that may arise in the future.
...............................
|
