A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I had been with a guy for nearly 4 years and a couple of months ago he broke up with me. Two days later he decided to start seeing a 17 year old girl (he is 22) who I had previously asked whether he had feelings for. He assured me that he was madly in love with me and that nothing would ever happen. Even now he says nothing happened between them whilst we were together. I am finding it difficult to pick myself up and carry on with life because I am still in love with him and although I hate what he has done to me, I can't help but want to get back together with him. I feel like it's tearing me apart. It doesn't help that he continues to contact me and tells me things like 'he would be so hurt if I was with someone else' and that he misses me. I dont know what to do. Part of me really wants to forget about him and move on but the rest of me really doesn't want to close the door on something that meant so much. Do you think there will be any chance of us getting back together? How can I attempt to get over him when I love him so much still? Please help x
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2010): I know you you love him still but he's minipulative and insensitive so I think you could do better, if he sees you are "weak" he will know he can mess you about.
A
female
reader, Denise32  +, writes (15 June 2010):
 Hoo boy. This one really does want to play both sides of the road, doesn't he?
By keeping in contact with you and telling you he'd "be so hurt" if you met someone else, my sense is (rightly or wrongly) that he's indulging in a bit of "insurance" in case the 17 year old doesn't work out.....manipulative, that's what he is.
Not only that, but while your 4-year relationship meant a very great deal to you, it evidently didn't mean as much to him. I really hope you can make a firm decision to forget all about "loving him so much" and let him go in your own mind and heart. Seriously, why would you even want to be with a man who no longer wants you?
I wish you all the best in moving on with your life, and eventually meeting a man after you've taken some time to be on your own, yet with other friends and doing things you enjoy, who WILL really value you and want to be with you long-term - maybe even get married.......
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