A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:help! my brother left a perfect marriage with a woman who treated him like he was some kind of king. for a girl half his age. this girl moved in with him, she doesnt work. hes always taking her to the golf courses, takes her out to eat almost everynight.and god only knows what else he has done for her. now he has confided in me that he had taken out a lot of loans when they started dating and that they are suing him because he hasnt paid. He makes well into the 6 figures. i know he is paying his wife money, plus he has his own bills. he is looking very tired, and has aged alot in the past few months. i dont understand why he wont tell her to go to work to help, he has asked me to help him out, but i dont make that kind of money. all i want to do is tell him to go back to the woman who help take care of him. this girl does not care about him, or she would be out there helping. he says he loves her and wants to give her everything, and that she loves him. I dont think she does, i really think she is out for the money and security that he can give her. i know he wants to feel young and being with her is the way to do it, she acts like shes 12 sometimes filling his facebook pages with pics. of him and her. she looks very happy, and he just looks sad, or puts on a fake smile. Am i just being an overprotective brother which is funny cause im younger than him. i want for him to be happy, but i think he made a huge mistake. his wife was just so awesome to him. i lived with them for a year and she catered to his every need, and worked everyday outside the home. i have never seen anyone take care of someone the way she did him. anyway this is long, just want to know how to help him.
View related questions:
facebook, money, moved in Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, grymsoul +, writes (13 August 2012):
 Some people are just very desperate for love. They need to have the feeling of a very attractive young person trailing after them, creating the illusion that they still "have it". I know the feeling. I may only be twenty four but the same girls that I could have attracted at twenty don't seem to want someone who is 4-6 years older than them. Also when we reach a certain age, we just wish we could feel younger again. To feel important and on top of the world once more. I'm not saying that elders aren't important, I'm saying that some of them just feel outdate and obselete. At my age I still wish to be twenty again if that means I stand half a chance to attract that gorgeous nineteen year old I see at work everyday. Your brother seems to have found something that's just as good in keeping a babe around; money. Unfortunately for him, money doesn't last forever. He'll sooner or later run out of it and she'll disappear.If you really want to help your brother, I would tell him to test her. Tell him to tell her that he went bankrupt and that she should also get a job so that they can make a descent living. If she agrees to help then she obviously cares about him. If she leaves then he at least knows that she didn't genuinely care for him. Tell him it's a simple test to see if her heart is in the right place.He may not want to do it because I wager he already knows that she only wants his money. He may even defend her by saying the test is a very dumb idea. But if he really has a doubt about her true intentions, he'll give it a shot. If she does pass then there's no need to let her know he isn't bankrupt. Just let her continue to work so that they can save money and live moderately.I'm very sorry about him leaving his wife but this kind of thing happens everyday. We fall out of love and unfortunately can't get it back. There is nothing you can do to make your brother love his wife again. You can only let the situation play out and hope that he opens his eyes. Even then, you should try to encourage your sister-in-law to not take him back because of such a reckless move he pulled. He doesn't deserve to be forgiven so easily.
A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan  +, writes (12 August 2012):
Two things: as far as money goes, he needs to get specialist financial advice to make the repayment of his debts manageable, and he needs to look at tightening the belt because he’s obviously been living beyond his means, not helped by a girlfriend who seems totally disinterested in pulling her weight to help him out. Secondly, he’s obviously smitten with this young lady, and telling him she’s after his money and she doesn’t care about him will be pointless: he will not listen. IF you’re right, he’ll have to find that out for himself and he’ll need your support when that happens. But if he asks for your opinion, don’t be afraid to be honest even if you tell him that you know it’s probably not what he wants to hear. Don’t live in hope that he’ll see sense: he might not, or at least he might not for some time, and even if he does that doesn’t mean there’s any chance of saving the relationship with the wife he’s left. She might be too hurt and betrayed to ever take him back. Also, don’t be pressured in to helping out if you don’t want to or can’t afford to: maybe if things get too tough for him, he’ll have to insist that this girl starts to contribute. He’ll have to stop lavishing money on her because from what you say, he’s simply not got it at the moment.
I wish you all the very best.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2012): Don't know what to tell you except... that's just the way it is now days... My son's wife put him out and moved her new boyfriend in that gives her absolutely nothing so her new boyfriend is living high on the hog for free in the house my son bought, her new boyfriend doesn't give her one dime and she has been taken care of him for over ten years and all he does is run the streets with other women.
Her new boyfriend does not love her but he's there because she puts a roof over his head, clothes him and feed him while she's struggling to pay bills. So I wish I had the answers.
The only thing I keep coming up with is that I think people with this type of behavior should get a psychological test every six weeks.
...............................
|
