A
female
age
36-40,
*ovebytes421
writes:Hi I am currently staying in USA with my sisters family. My brother in law too is an Indian like me but he always grombles and cribs about the Indian system. He always uses foul language while talking about India and says that the country has not given him anything but America has. I dont like his talks and I get deeply hurt as I am emotionally attached to India. Our conversation always ends up by me crying and staying awake the whole night. Please help as I cannot tolerate anyone saying something bad about India and my blood boils upon hearing against my country. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2009): ovebytes421,
Your brother in law is right to be unhappy with his country whose biggest present achievement is to be the world's #1 people exporter and largest national people factory on earth (having briskly passed China.) Or perhaps, nation who boasts the largest population without access to clean water or enough food for its citizens. Oh, but there's a great new space program. The village children shed a tear for India as the rocket successfully takes off and they go to bed (again) on empty stomachs. Something of which to be proud for you? Perhaps you can learn something from from your honest brother in law. If you truly believe that old desiland is so unworthy of criticism just look to the millions of Indians who have been escaping to go somewhere else (and they go nearly anywhere that is not India.) Is there really anything that India has done for its people to be proud of in the past 1,500 years of its overpopulated, impoverished existence that warrants your praise or pride, other than its studious appropriation of the political, scientific and technological achievements of its many subjugators and their colonial representatives while giving its own people the shaft? In which language are you presently typing? For which type of organization do you work, what are the cultural origins of its business, its technology, its customers? Think about it.
Don't go believing like so many do that it's only a search for better incomes that has been driving Indians to leave of late... Indians like you are more likely than nearly any other poor country's residents, except for the Chinese, to take the wife, kids and parents with them when they leave and never go back (except to waste money visiting the unlucky who have to stay.) Indians love India, sure they do, they just don't want to live there if they can help it.
Why don't you just accept the sad truth about your land and culture and get on with your own inevitable immigration proceedings to save your children the trouble. Get your H1B or marry someone so you too can stay and enjoy the good life - plenty of clean water, fresh air, orderliness, calm, jobs that pay real salaries, less brutal competition for the basic means of life - like so many of your countrymen are doing now outside of India, that your people are mentally and physically incapable of providing you.
I'm not politically correct... But then again, neither are you. I have no sympathy for your hurt national pride. Your chauvinism is the same dumb sentiment that eventually brought about the extermination of millions of innocent people only some three score years ago if left to procreate.
Good luck with your patriotism. Long live the Great Peoplefactory!
A
male
reader, bharat mehta  +, writes (3 December 2009):
 It is good and also one separate thing to love one's own country. I am also Indian, and love my country, but when thing come to respect, then I respect America for certain thing and unable to respect my own country even though I love my country, simply became India has not achieved which is worthy of respect.
America is History's only one nation, founded by Philosophers. Indian was still dominated by Orthodox political group, who is unable even to understand, 'what is Individual right? What is Individual Freedom? and What it meant, ' the right to life?"
Indian can pride for one thing, that in ancient time, the land of this nation has produced world's greatest philosophy, ie. Vedant. but to-day it meant to America and not to Indian.
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A
male
reader, Beingblack  +, writes (2 December 2009):
 You have to accept that people bad mouth everything! Their neighbours, their family, their friends, their own city, their economy and even the weather.
America did not 'give' your brother-in-law anything. He worked for it, and maybe made more of his opportunity than he would have done back in India.
Most 'western' countries are democracies, where people have the right of freedom of speech. You have to accept that in America, a man is allowed to stand on the corner of the street, and loudly and publicly bad mouth everything and everyone.
I am not sure what would happen if anyone did the same in Mumbai.
There is nothing wrong with feeling an emotional attachment to your mother country. But by experiencing other countries and cultures, you are gaining invaluable knowledge of the world and how it works.
And that is the 'American' problem. Only around 15 per cent of the American population has a passport, and less than that has actually been abroad. No chance of most US citizens embracing other cultures then.
Yet they still sit at home, bad mouthing their economy, their politicians, and their favourite franchise, with no knowledge of how another country might compare.
There really is no winning at all.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2009): why are you so sensitive? is he not allowed to express his views openly? you have the choice of either taking offence or allowing him the freedom of saying what he finds true for himself. You have your thoughts, he has his, and without diversity it would be a very mundane world.
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A
male
reader, ADR386 +, writes (2 December 2009):
 It doesn't sound like his attacks on India are intended to be personal. You have an attachment to India that he doesn't, so he doesn't speak of it as fondly as you would.That said, just because you two disagree, it doesn't mean you have to argue about it all the time. You aren't going to change his mind and he isn't going to change yours, so don't bring up the topic of India trying to convince him that he's wrong about it. If he starts ranting about India, you can politely cut him off by agreeing to disagree, then change the subject to something that isn't going to upset you. I would avoid involving your sister in this disagreement at all costs.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2009): why don't you mention to him how you feel ? how what he says make you feel ? , and why don't you try and be considerate to what he might have been through back at home ? you might have an attachment to the place you are from , other people might have had a pretty terrible time there and still aren't over it .. him saying anything shouldn't take away anything that you think your country have . live and let live
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2009): It's perfectly natural and normal for people to be proud of their home country. Americans have a lot to be proud of, appreciate that. I'm sure India has much to be proud of too.I would avoid the conversation, neither of you are going to win. Toughen up your skin and move on.
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