A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My brother had an operation on his nose to remove a small tumour from one side. It has left him disfigured. In order to patch up the hole the Surgeon not only took a bit of skin from his ear, but stretched the skin over from the other side of the nose. He talks about not even having a good side, or when he goes out into the street "grossing out" the public, or calls the NHS to a poor mans butchery service. I love him, I'm worried about him, and if I had the money I'd fly him to any plastic surgeon. He's 35, single and in his mind he's going to stay that way.I don't know what to say.
View related questions:
money Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2007): My brother lost an eye so I know what you mean. He is 27 & he has depression & things, he's also single & has been since he was like 18. I feel really bad for him as well. I can't really help you, but just know that you aren't alone. Just try to be there for him as much as you can.
A
male
reader, Uncle Trev +, writes (22 September 2007):
I can guarantee by what you have said here that the main contributor to your brother's ugliness is his own opinion of himself.He can choose to look at the NHS in two ways either the present way where he referrs to their buchery or how about getting him to look at the other way. He is still here and the cancer hasn't killed him. If my choice was a little facial disfigurement or an agonising premature death from cancer - it wouldn't take me long to come to a definate conclusion as to what one I would want. I can't think of his other name but their was a guy called Simon who years ago was severly burned on the Sir Galahad in the Falklands conflict. His face was hardly recognisable from his burns and I no doubt he would be far more disfigured than your brother. His positive and somewhat public fight back to health has been well documented on the TV and he is the absolute centre of attention and the girls go crazy about him everywhere he goes.If your brother chooses to blame his predicament for his failures in other aspects of his life then he will remain where he is at the moment. Then again if he chooses to lift himself out of the rut he is in then everything in life will improve for him. He just has to decide for himself what he wants to do. Either blame others or start believing in himself. The choice is his.
...............................
A
female
reader, O Connor  +, writes (22 September 2007):
 well first of all,not everybody that he comes across is going to react or 'gross out'.if your brother keeps bringing up the fact that he has this disfigurement and constantly comments about it,he is going to bring himself down even more and remind himself of the one thing that he doesnt like.other people will see this and focus on this more than anything else.it is going to take some time for him to come to grips with this life changing operation - as it would anyone who has gone through such a situation.in the mean time let him know that your ther,and dont let him confine himself to his house as it will just make it harder for him to face wat he doesnt like.there are millions of people who have to deal with even worse physical things every day but they get by.just make sure that he knows he always has his family and friends around him and build up his confidence slowly. i hope this helps xx
...............................
A
female
reader, leanne.od +, writes (21 September 2007):
 its going to take him time to get used to it but he will. and regardles of what anybody else thinks, they don't know him. so many people are narrow minded and shallow, they assume they have the right to comment and to hell with people's feelings.
but there are good people out there who will look past his disfigurement and see him for him, not out of pity or anything alike but because he is a good, decent person.
in time his confidence will rebuild and he'll learn to love himself again, until then, just let him know you are there to listen and help in anyway you can so he knows he has your support.
best of luck
...............................
|
