A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:Dear Agony Aunt,So I have this new boyfriend. I have been with him for nearly 6 months now (which I know isn't a long time at all) however he is 10 years older than me and has 3 children. My family were aware of this and do not accept it at all.My brother is a lot older than me and very protective of me and when he first found out he honestly went mental.I bit the bullet and he met my mum and dad 2 weeks ago and I think that they will be able to come round with the idea of it however I really don't think my brother will ever be willing to accept it.I know 6 months is a very short period of time however the first couple of times I met him we just clicked and got on like a house on fire. Everything has moved quite quickly but I don't think 'too' quickly. We literally see each other everyday, I have never been so comfortable with someone before and I honestly believe this guy could be the one for me.Clearly my brother is a major issue and I really need some advice on what to do about it!! Please help!!
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (15 March 2018):
 If I were your brother I would not like it either . At all. Both because of the age difference that at your young age is relevant ( it would be much less relevant if you were 25 and he 35 ) and makes him look rather predatory and superficial. And for the 3 kids, much more so if , rather than the 3 kids of a young ex husband , these are the kids that he has started casually spawning since an early age from 3 different baby mamas .
Only time will tell. There are exceptions to anything and there is no law that says that a 28 year single dad of 3 cannot ever be the right companion and eventually husband for a younger woman. Also, you are a young adult and have the right to make your own choices - and also your own mistakes. So nobody can stop you from dating this guy, hoping that all goes well even after the rosy tinted glass phase of the first 6 months of dating. But do not be surprised or upset about your brother's attitude. If facts ( and your boyfriend's behaviour ) will give him cause to change his mind , he will. In the meantime, be assured that your brother is not just being prejudiced or hysterical; any doting brother would be very worried, in his shoes !
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (15 March 2018):
 I don't blame your brother. If any of my daughters were dating a guy 10 years older with 3 kids, I'd probably not be a fan either. A guy like that has WAY to much baggage for someone you age. And you have WAY too little experience.
One MAJOR reason I would have an issue with a 10 year gap at THIS age (yours) is that you are BARELY out of your teens and he is a decade ahead, YET he went looking for a younger girl to date, not someone who he has more in common with. That makes HIM seem a bit immature. And the relationship a bit "uneven".
Does it mean it won't work? Not necessarily.
But like Aunt honesty says, you are "legally" an adult and can date whomever you want. If you two keep dating and all is fine, what can your brother really do?
Just like it's YOUR choice to date this guy, it's your brother's choice to not like it.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (14 March 2018):
 Where do you see this going, "Step mother"?I get it; he's charming and being older makes you feel more mature, but he has three children. Are you prepared to become a stepmum at such a young age? If not, which would be a good thing, you're with someone who has no future with you.Are you prepared for dealing with the children's mum?I can see why your family are uneasy about it. Regardless of how you feel, you should be wary of it too. It's not wise to think he's "the one" after only 6 months, especially as he was legally an adult before you were even a teenager and has three children to show for it.However, as long as you are *very* careful, using birth control *and* condoms, you're old enough to make your own decisions. He may not come around, but he has good reasons.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (14 March 2018):
 Nothing you can say or do is going to stop your brother worrying. I do understand why he feels the way he does. But you are an adult and in control of your own life. You are able to date who you want. So the best advice I can give you is to carry on doing what you are doing and reassure your brother that he is looking after you well.
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