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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I am a single mother of 1 daughter. I am 20 and was living with my bf but we broke up. Since then about 2 months ago I've moved back home with my parents. I have a younger brother who is 18 and a sister who is 14. We were all having dinner last weekend and we all spent the night at home and none of us made plans. I went to my room around 9 or so and I started getting text messages from my brother who was in his room I guess. It was weird. But anyways he was just texting me and we were talking about all kind a stuff when the topic of sex came up. It was weird but intriguing. I hadn't been with anyone since my ex and we weree just talking...morelss about wht we like and don't like and have done and hvent done. Lasted about 30 min before I told him I was going to bed. About 1 am or so he texts me again and wakes me up. He's like...what r u doing. I said I was sleeping. He said he was sorry to wake me..but he was just awake and couldn't sleep. I asked him if he was ok. He said yea but tht he felt awkward for talking to me like he did in our text messages. I said it was ok. A few minutes later he asked me if I had ever thought about him in a sexual way. I was a bit taken back and I wrote him and said no..*nd I asked him if he did. He said he has and he felt weird. I asked him why me instead of other girls. He said he didn't know. I told him it was ok and it didn't bother me he felt that way. I told him that I figured it was common. Anyways we texted some more and I told him that instead of texting to come down an hang out and we can watch some tv since by now I was awake. He did come down. He came in and it was silent at first and awkward but I broke the ice and just asked wht he wanted to watch and to find something. A few minutes later he asked I I cared if he laid down on my bed and I didn't. So he did and we laid there. Then he said I hope u don't feel weird. I didn't and I said ya know its prob more common thn we think about. He said maybe but its hard to confess. I asked him why he did tonight and he just shrugged. I told him it was ok. He asked if I would ever want to try it? I was shocked he asked but I had a feeling he was going to sooner or later. I told him I didn't know. I said for one our parents may find out and two it would be awkward as hell. He said yeh probably. He said what if we knew noone would know and I said well maybe. But anyways a little while later we ended up having sex. I let him do it. But I made him swaer he would be quite and ensurw we wouldn't wake anyone up. Well we were quiet and we had sex. And its been 2 days and I feel awkward as hell now. I just got caught up in the mood that night. What should I do?
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broke up, in the mood, my ex, text Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2010): You said you both agreed that you have to keep this a secret. Did you also both agree that you would NOT have sex with each other again? Because if you didn't, he might take that to mean that you are going to continue to have sex with each other, but keep it a secret from everyone else. Since you didn't say whether you agreed that it was a one-time thing that isn't going to happen again, I think you need to explain further what the nature of your conversation with him was.
A
male
reader, rcn  +, writes (18 August 2010):
 It's good you two talked. You're family, treat each other as such, and not as a future Jerry Springer guest. You live, you learn, and this time you learned what could have been avoided.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all for answering! And everyone put forward some good advice. I talked to him last night and we talked about. And like me he has felt awkward also and was nervous to be around me. We both know we have to live with it. And we have to keep it a secret.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2010): Incest is illegal for a reason - namely, to prevent what you are experiencing now: weirdness. You were wrong to act on it, particularly when you said you were taken aback by his questions, then you also indicated that you thought he may ask you about having sex with you.
Since you have already been there and done the dirty deed I think you need to talk to someone about it - not anyone online, but get a professional opinion about what to do next. I think you need to set some boundaries with your brother but don't avoid him because he is your brother and you need to maintain a familial relationship with him.
Things with you and your brother are probably changed forever, which you would have realised when you were about to have sex with him, so that's a choice you've made, but I think you can probably minimise it by dealing with it maturely.
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A
male
reader, AussieAsh  +, writes (17 August 2010):
I think this situation is more common than you think, I don't think you should rack yourself with guilt over this however I do believe you need to be realistic and sit down with your bro and talk things out and about the fact that it can't happen again. Yeh, just don't worry about it too much no need to get hysterical over it
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2010): It's not COMMON common, but its more common than people probably think.
Nobody fesses up to it but we all probably know a few people who have done it in their lives.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (17 August 2010):
 I just dont get incest..Of all the available men out there u happen to get caught up in the mood with your younger brother? Ur own flesh and blood, especially when u knew it was wrong. No its not common for brothers to think about their sister in that way. I suggest u dont have sex with ur brother again, tell him ur brother and sister that its just not right and find someone to date that ur not related to!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2010): eww, that's just so wrong and inapropriate! you need to tell him that it was a mistake and that you regret it! and fyi, it might be a good idea NOT to text about sex to your brother that likes you... or to invite him to your room in the middle of the night... or be in the same bed as him... or Have Sex With Him!!! did you even think about the fact that you could get pregnant.. to your brother?
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (17 August 2010):
It looks like you already did it. It can't be taken back. The only thing now is figure if you'd plan on doing it again? If not, let him know, and be firm, you got caught up in that night, and that you are not planning on doing something like that again. That's really all you can do. You experienced what you had, you now feel the consequences of doing so, so you need to decide where it goes from here.
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