A
male
age
36-40,
*azed and confused 101
writes:Two days ago I had my first same sex sexual experience. I have been thinking about doing so for many years but was too scared to act upon it. I enjoyed it but now im very confused and I am not sure what I am. I have been feeling ill to the point I have nearly thrown up from the stress. Im not sleeping and im having a hard time eating. My problem is that I live in northern canada and work in a very testosterone driven field (mining) and im affraid that I may have to change my entire life for my own safety. I hoped that from this experience that all my questions would be answered and I would have a definitive answer of sexual preference but all it has done is given me more questions. I dont know what to do! Should I continue on with exploring my sexuality even though it could change everything including my career? Is this just a phase and is there anything i can do to help figure things out? I dont know where to turn. Im scared and need some advice! Reply to this Question
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male
reader, dazed and confused 101 +, writes (21 July 2009):
dazed and confused 101 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for the input. I deeply appreciate it
A
male
reader, bobby472 +, writes (20 July 2009):
There are alot of gay sites online, but none are for just Canada. But you can look at certain provinces. Thats about it. Ive been trying to find someone near me for three years now. Either there isnt any near me, or they dont have profiles set up. But it doesnt hurt to look :-)
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A
male
reader, dazed and confused 101 +, writes (20 July 2009):
dazed and confused 101 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all very much. Your kind words make this time a bit easier to cope with. There isnt exactly a group around where i live, Ive been searching for some time (very low populace). does anyone know of a website which has listings or workshops by region? Preferably for Canada? Im not affraid to travel to talk to some one. I should also add im not exactly ready to come out, im not even sure if this is my orientation. Though I have been asked several times by those close to me due to dating habits.
I guess im what you call a "serial dater" I havent been in a single relationship for more than six months since i was sixteen and I havent been single for more than a month at a time. Ive ended every single one myself always making excuses like "they're too clingy" or "i just realized we had nothing in common". Ive broken a lot of hearts trying to find myself. If this is what I am i guess I have some apologies to make.
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A
female
reader, ashleyhwrd  +, writes (20 July 2009):
follow your heart. dont worry about what others may or may not think. dont be scared set your mind to be brave.if you try you can do what ever you put your mind to. people that you work with should understan, but in many cases that dont if they learn to like you befor they should like you after. i actuly went thrue the same thing a good many years ago and it was soo hard but i made it thrue with just a few bumps. and am now very openly bi-sexuel and could care less about what others think. also if you look up on the internet some gay/bi web sites like a support group it will help maybe find one close to wher you live and talk with others just like you and me. find events that are caterd for just our types and scew the rest of those that dont like it. hope i gave a lil help my best wishes to you
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2009): If you same sex sexual experience 2 days ago, you might have thought about doing that a while back and just got a chance to do it now. It is ok to come out from the closet now than later as long as you're happy with your decision. Don't worry about what anybody says about you being gay, it's perfectly ok to be yourself. Just be happy the way your are.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2009): follow your heart theres nothing wrong withe being bi or gay it should come naturaly but in most cases pepole fell scared of what others think well screw them it shouldent matter what others think and you should be happy the hart can only want what it wants i went thru the same thing a couple years ago and it took me for ever to figer it out but im happy being me and no one can chane that just be happy and go with instinted
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