A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've been with my boyfriend a year. I've known him and his family for 10 years. I've always got on very well with his parents, they are very warm and welcoming people.His sisters however are a different story. One is a stroppy teenager (so I can kind of excuse her), one is older than me with a family. I find them quite distant and a bit cold with me. My boyfriend says it is just their nature, that they are shy, But I feel like it's bad manners and rudeness.I don't know if I am just paranoid and taking it to heart too much, but they are also still friends with my boyfriend's ex girlfriend. When my boyfriend was with his ex they would all go out drinking together, and since they broke up, my boyfriend has pretty much been pushed out of the large group of friends he shared with his ex girlfriend. His sisters go out for meals with their boyfriends and his ex girlfriend and her new boyfriend (who was a part of the large group of friends). I know my boyfriend feels hurt about this, that all his friends chose her over him, but they are all pretty immature nd obviously not true friends. I feel sad because I wish I could have been involved in going out with his friends and sisters, I feel like we're missing out.So I have tried to be as friendly as possible to his sisters, but I'm a bit shy and I don't want to look stupid in front of his ex girlfriend either. She's the type that would love for me to fall flat on my face.How do I handle this situation? Do I just steer clear of the sisters, or do I put in effort to befriend them?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2007): if after 10 years youve been with your man i dont think things will change. if it were me i would just stop trying too hard and just be civil to them in family situations eg..christmas.
just go out with your man and your friends. let them come to you when their more matue their just haning on to the past to make you feel the way you do.
your with your man for him, NOT his family.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2007): Why would you even want to make an effort to win the allegiance of such immature air-heads?
Clearly they are not over the break-up (in spite of the fact it is no-one's business but those involved). And I wouldn't be surprised if the ex had been shovelling shit to them about you and your fellow, to get sympathy and make things difficult. Women can be like that.
So give them an ultimatum. Either they accept you two as an item and start growing up and stop being so bitchy, or slowly watch as the both of you slide out of their lives completely.
Flynn 24
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A
female
reader, Miggy +, writes (20 December 2007):
well. I think that maybe you should try and make an effort at first-maybe you could invite them out for a drink or a meal sometime, or a girly night out without your boyfriend?
Maybe things will get better if you have spent some quality time with them, but if not just explain to your boyfriend whats really going on, and how its not shyness.
Maybe there just being typical girls-they need to grow up tbh.
anyway, good luck.
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