A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi,I am a 24 year old girl having a great boyfriend.We are really commited to each other and planning on getting married next year. Before we got together,we were friends for almost one year. during that time,i knew about a girl who was madly in love with him and used to stalk him by calling him and would emotionally blackmail him ,to continue relationship with her.But He said ..he was not interested in that girl and that gal was kind of a headache for him. But he even admitted that he had initially shown interest in her, So she got serious. After we got together, I wanted to know more about her, But to my utter surprise,He was trying to hide the identity of that girl which helped to incraese my curiosity on that topic. But later after a lot of fight, He revealed her identity to me But Still I had doubts on whether He has shown me d correct gal. He assured me that he has told me the truth. But later..to my utter surprise I discovered that,,...that gal was none other than his own first cousin(they r born n brought up in d same house).He admitted that He had even kissed her once and he alter realised his mistakes and mended his way but the gal continued to stalk him and threaten him of suicide. I dnt even trust him.. I am always wondering whether he is hiding more things from me. The thought of dat gal is always in my mind and I m hating her to the core for trying to seduce her own cousin brother. That hate has bcome a burden for me.I want to ask my bf more n more about it...but he avoids saying it brings him back the traumatic experience he had once upon a time. But I dnt knw hum to talk about this problem. I cant even talk to him on this as I feel i ll hurt him in the process. But i am always wondering...What else could have been between dem and whether he seriously had a serious relationship wid her.This thought is not letting me be in piece and I believe I can not stand dat gal in front me ever...as Invariably I hv 2 see her frequently If I marry him. :(
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for all the responses.But to add on to that,I am not suspecting him of cheating on me.I believe dat He will never cheat on me in future.And as he says..He was just carried away for a moment but later regretted for his did.Even If I understand all this...I dnt knw how to take her out of my mind.I am feeling helpless right now.And I hate the fact taht the person whom I love so much has done this incest kind of thing. :( That is depressing.I am just sneaking into her facebook profile..looking at her pictures and comparing her with myself. I dnt knw Why I m duin so.And She actually is pretty.The weird thing is this gal had/has a bf wen he was stalking my bf.
A
female
reader, ms understood  +, writes (22 April 2010):
hi
I sympathize with you girl.its very aggravating if you can't even express and show to your boyfriend how you are feeling and thus makes you even paranoid of what he's doing, you'll be busy thinking whether he's cheating you at this moment or is that gal flirting again or so on and so forth, it cuts deep right?
i have been there cause i caught cheating once.the fact that they say that most of the men were born bigamous, (excuse me for some boys there, who were born one woman man)
have just come to my senses that the more you're thinking that he's cheating you and the more you'll be hurt.so let it be.. if you'd be hurt, then be hurt. it hurts deep, but it will still heal... soon...
it this guy cant prove to you that he deserves your trust he's not worth keeping, and that gal who is kinda monster shadow who keeps on following you even in your night mares can eat up the whole you wherever you may be..she can be in your window, in your bowl of cereals, in your cup of coffee. God knows how its hurting sooo deep.
then now, your boyfriend must prove to you that he's not cheating you otherwise, let him go for you'll never have any peace of mind with him ever, with that girl stalking around your boyfriend, i don't think so.
maybe the best thing that you can do is to get married with him and move somewhere where this girl can not stalk around anymore, after all even if she stalks around she can not go in the open any way.so good luck for her!make her more jealous and prove to her that you deserve your love, attention, kiss and hug : )
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A
female
reader, raiders  +, writes (22 April 2010):
 Well he probably did not want to tell you because he felt embarrassed and might have been a little scare of your reaction. The problem here is he was right you did react negative and maybe this is why he don't want to feed you anymore information. Your digging in his past and using all this evidence against him thats a No No if you want a relationship to survive. Now the cousin has done nothing to you and unless she tries to ruin your relationship, you really have no reason to hate her. Incest is disturbing but its over and he is with you now and thats all that should matter, but if you can't jump passed this stone in your path than maybe you should call it quits and you both should go your own ways. If you want this relationship to work than your going to have to put his past behind you, in order to move forward.
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