A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Me and my boyfriend recently got back together for the 4th time but problem his family doesn't want us to date. they say i treat him like crap and im not mature. i really want to be with me him cause i know for a fact i love him but he texted me saying his family doesn't want us to date. so what should i do? should we date and not tell his family we are and he can just act like he isn't dating anyone or what i really truley want to be with so please i need help with this! P.S. We aren't 18 yet so he can't just not listen to them cause he lives with them
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female
reader, Lib1 +, writes (1 September 2008):
 Well I'm 23 and I had a boyfriend for 2 years. His family hated me too. This problem can happy at any age. Well in the end its very important to have the family's support and if not their's your boyfriend's undying support. The problem is it doesn't sound like you have that and I certainly didn't. The problem always hung over our heads because his family had a very strong hold over their two kids. In the end it didn't work out but let me tell you we went most of the relationship going strong until they disaproved. I even wrote about it on here and I didn't want to listen to people. But the truth is a problem like this without your boyfriend's overwhelming support for you two being together, it puts an expiration date on your relationship. I say you're still young cut your losses. End it now so you can start the process of grieving as soon as possible. Or you can stay in the realationship but I hope you learn from your choice to stay.
A
male
reader, ChiRaven +, writes (1 September 2008):
 At your age family pressure can be a real problem. I lost the first great love of my life at 15 because my parents and teachers at school were determined to break the two of us up.
You really don't have much of an option about whether or not you actually go out with this boy. His parents are probably in a position to control his movements enough to prevent the two of you from getting together much. So you two are going to have to decide whether you want to try to hang in there until you are both over 18 AND are ready to establish yourselves as independent individuals living apart from your parents, or whether you're going to give up and forget about it.
If you do decide to wait, don't be terribly surprised if one or the other (or both) of you eventually gets tired of waiting and falls for someone else in the meantime. Even with the best of intentions, the years between now and the time you're both ready to strike out on your own can be long and lonely. Keep that in mind when you make your decisions.
But talk it over with him, and decide whether, for now, you want to remain together as a couple even though your opportunities to get together are going to be severely limited. It's not going to be fun no matter what you decide, but the decision is strictly yours.
I wish there were some magic wand that we could wave and make there be a happier answer to this problem, but you know there just isn't. I hope for the best for both of you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2008): i have the same problem. i dated a guy for 3 years. we broke up got back together then broke up. his parents hated me. but he loved me. we found away to see each other even if it was just at school. if he loves you his parents should understand that. ask him to talk to his parents about them. have him explain to them that he wants to be with you and maybe even why.
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