A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Dear cupid,my boyfriends parents are driving me mad!!!! I've been with my boyf for 2 years loved his parents but now they are driving me crazy! I lived with them for a few months when i first met my boyf and everything was fine, then my family bought a flat half an hour away from his parents in London which we rent from my family which works out fine.His dad really annoys me, when they come over (normally once a week, twice sometimes or we go over to see them) when his dad comes over he helps himself to food, bread and butter ect, i have to ignore it because my boyf says 'he thinks he can help himself because hes family' so i have to swallow it and shut up. My family live about 1hr and a half away, so when me and my boyfriend go and see my mum we have to stay for a few nights otherwise it would be too much going backwards and forwards. The other day it was my boyf's birthday, we were at my mum's the night before and knew we had to get back to clean the flat before my boyf's parents came over the next day. so we got back and everything was tidy and there was a note from his parents saying they had tidied it to relieve our stress, we had given them a spare key as they only live half an hour away, so its easy to get to... I didn't know what to think of this, i was quite embarrassed as i had left knickers all over the bedroom floor and a bit annoyed because i had private letters from the doctor all over the kitchen table but i swallowed it and thought it was very sweet of them....is this right of me??So we are seeing his parents on Sunday they asked us over for a meal but we suggested they come over for a meal instead, so his dad said ok but 'we would like to stay the night' because he feels we dont spend enough 'quality time together' .....and i got really annoyed, i just dont understand why they want to stay the night when they only live half an hour away and we see them regularly enough?? If they want to drink and relax then why cant they get the train over?? I know if they stay the night his dad will go off to work which is 15 mins away and his mum will be with us all day and his dad will have to come back to pick her up which will result in providing them with supper and having a late night because 'they dont want to leave' (they dont say this they just stay for ages and drink tea) I just dont get it....so we suggested that we go over to them on Sunday and his dad asked if we were going to stay the night....and again i though no...because we only live half an hour away???I think it's fair that me and my boyfriend stay the night at my mum's because she lives 1 hr and a half away! My mum gets upset when we leave to go back to london because its quite a long way and she knows she wont see us for another few weeks, but my boyfriends parents apparently get upset when they leave us even though they live half an hour away and we see them all the time....I dont know what to do am i mad??? My boyf doesn't get it....
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male
reader, rcn  +, writes (9 July 2011):
 He won't get it and really he doesn't have to. Your emotions and feelings are yours, and they are based on your perception and experience. Do I get it? What bothers you would not bother me, however I can see why it does as well, in looking at it from your side.
First, understand it doesn't seem as if his parents are intentionally trying to cause you harm. Your personalities, and what's proper and what's not are different. You two need to talk about this and come to a compromise that you can do with these parents, without offending them. You don't want to push them away, because they do things they believe is showing their affecting toward you two and showing how they love the two of you.
Let me give you an example. I'm a firm handshake kind of guy, when coming in contact with others. It's not touchy feely as many others are. It's hard when they give you hugs, a kiss on the cheek (especially from a guy) I've had some awkward moments, but to them it's their way of beings.
I hope this helps. Take care.
A
female
reader, Sexified226 +, writes (9 July 2011):
What are knickers? And what's a flat? Im so confused lol we have VERY different cultures lol I would just say something to him but try and be nice about it.
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