A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:My on/off bf of two years has known this girl for a year because she is on and off with his best friend. Ever since he met her, he’s hidden the fact that he’s socialised with her, he’s liked all of her profile pictures on facebook, all of her statuses, whatever they are about. Then about 5 months ago she fell pregnant to my bf’s best friend and now my bf is absolutely obsessed with her. Liking all her scan video’s/pictures, commenting how he can’t wait for the baby to arrive, he’s so excited. He is literally the first person to get his comments in, even before the baby’s father.As well as this, he is constantly snap chatting her, constantly inboxing her on facebook…probably texting her too. He even brings her up when me and him spend time together saying how she’s pregnant blah blah, and how whenever she splits up with her partner that he feels sorry for her, he slags his own best friend off saying what a heartless **** he is. He said he could never walk out on his pregnant girlfriend despite what she did because it’s wrong, you’re supposed to be there supporting your pregnant partner. He’s telling her he is going to make her hampers for her baby and that he is literally so excited for it to arrive…you’d think it was his baby. I literally cannot remember the last time he bought me anything, and I’m supposed to be his girlfriend. And we haven’t been out anywhere in god knows how long because he’s apparently ‘saving for a car and a holiday’, he always comes up with an excuse when I ask him out. Yet he’s always out at pubs and is talking about buying stuff for his best friend’s girlfriend’s baby.He has some sort of creepy obsession with this girl right? And surely this isn’t fair on his best friend? He constantly tells me how much he loves me but then he is all over this girl. I have spoken to him about it and he actually fell out with me once calling me ‘sick’ for thinking he would try things on with his best friend’s girlfriend. Any thoughts?
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (12 March 2016):
 Well am glad to hear that you have broken up with him, now you just need to remove him from your life, hard it may be but it will be worth it in the end. Block him from everything, block him from calling you, refuse to have any contact with him, if you see him out in public completely ignore him, you just need time to move on with your life. Remember if you allow him back in your life, you will also be allowing the unhappiness and untrust that you feel. Write down all the negatives and whenever you are feeling lonely or wanting to talk to him, then look at the list you made and this will make you see why you need to stay away from him.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (11 March 2016):
 You make it seem like he owns you. That you are some helpless little thing.
ACCEPT that you are NOT. BLOCK him on everything phone, e-mail, social media, tell friends and family to NOT give your number out. If you get texts or calls from him on unfamiliar numbers, get a new number.
YOU CAN detach yourself from it, IF you so wish. But it takes willpower and determination.
Just a thought, maybe he recalls VERY well that this girl use to bully you. It works for him in his games with you to make her "his new favorite" because it upsets you and he thinks makes HIM look great overall.
Come on girl, DO NOT give him that much power over your life.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2016): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe is a narcissist, that is why i can't get away from him. I know 100% he isn't right for me otherwise why would we keep splitting up? why would he be so obsessed with this girl. No matter what I do to get away from him he still finds a way of crawling back to me, crying, begging and telling me he can't live without me.of course it tugs at my heart strings. Stupid I know. I even went as far as moving house and changing my number but he STILL got in touch with me saying i'm the only girl for him. He also says he would love to have a...my baby although I don't currently wish to start a family, but whenever we had unprotected intercourse in the past he would freak out and beg me to take the morning after pill just to be safe. The thought of me pregnant actually disgusted him completely.And as for the girl he is obsessed with, she was actually one of my former bullies at school. He knew I didn't like her right from the off then his best friend started dating her and from then on he was obsessed with her. He hid the fact that he socialised her and this caused massive friction in the relationship too and he claimed I was paranoid and jealous. After one such argument he removed me off his facebook (immature I know) and has never let me be his friend on there since. But every time I do confront him about it, he either gets really aggro saying i'm sick in the head, he would never betray his friend like that. But sometimes he brushes it away and says i'm stupid if I think he wants anybody but me.I agree with all of you in that I shouldn't continue with this, I am so unhappy. We currently aren't together due to my unhappiness and trust issues
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (11 March 2016):
The thing is if you don't feel loved or valued enough in this relationship then you should end it. I don't think you trust this guy, therefore my guess is that you should end this relationship. Why be with someone who takes more notice of his BF girl than his own? Why is he so down on his BF? Does he not treat his girlfriend well? Maybe your boyfriend genuinely feels sorry for this girl as he feels her boyfriend is not treating her well, but still he is investing way to much off his time and energy in to this girl. Either talk to him and tell him that you find his behavior unacceptable, or talk to her and ask her how she feels about this. Then make a decision.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2016): This is extremely odd... I'd let him go and look for a BF who cares about YOU!
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A
female
reader, MissKin +, writes (11 March 2016):
 This is definitely an emotional affair. Are you sure it.. ISN'T his baby? Not to make you freak out but.. It's fine to be interested but boys are not normally that interested in other girl's pregnancies.
He is not emotionally invested in you. He clearly had more time for her and her baby than you and it isn't likely to work out well for the two of you if he is showing such a vested interest in someone else. And the fact that this is his best friends gf is stepping over the mark and says a lot about his morals if you ask me.
You'd be doing yourself a favour to get out of this situation. I would not be able to seal with it if this were me. I don't think it's innocent or appropriate.
Have you mentioned to him how odd you find it? Have you asked him why it is or why he's so obsessed? Might be interesting to see how he responds.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (11 March 2016):
Any thoughts?
Yes, make the relationship a PERMANENT OFF situation. He is not being a good BF, though I OD think he is being a caring friend to his BFF's babymomma, but even THAT I would have my suspicions that he is trying to curry her favor. That he is HOPING she sees him as potential replacement baby-daddy, new BF.
I mean he couldn't be OBVIOUS that he is pursuing her.
So why are you settling for being the LAST on his list of priorities?
You two don't have a healthy relationship either, there is a lack of trust (at least from you side (not saying it's unfounded but it's not helping either)) and when you two hit road block you "take a break" or "break up" for a little while. THAT kind of OFF/ON behavior doesn't change and it certainly doesn't make a relationship stronger...
So why the ON/OFF? (and please don't say I LOVE HIM as the reason... you can love someone and realize you can't date them seriously.)
Why settle for this guy?
Why not end it on good terms, wish him well and let him go. (and set yourself "free" to find a MUCH better match).
And remember this... YOU CAN NOT control what other people say, think, feel or do. Only how you react to it.
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A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (11 March 2016):
 Step away. This could be something - it could be nothing. However at the end of it I don't see how any of it is good for you. I would move him down to just 'friend' and add some distance before any crap hits the proverbial fan.
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