A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hello, I am in my mid twenties and have dated my boyfriend since high school. My question is regarding his grandmother. Now, I know I shouldn't take her criticism too seriously but it has recently bothered me. Last week my boyfriend visited his grandmother and she began a conversation with him. According to him, she is nagging at our relationship and asked him to just find another girlfriend. This confused me because in high school when I went with him to visit, she would say how much she liked me and was generally happy to see me, us together. I suspect it's because my boyfriend and I aren't married nor have kids yet. He is the oldest in his family. I have recently graduated from college and want to focus on financial matters before anything else. A lot of women I have met also claim I should get married and have kids already. I don't know how to react to this. There is a language barrier between my boyfriend's family and I, since I don't know Spanish. My boyfriend does not want to talk back to his grandmother because he respects her. If she tells him to break up with me again, and he mentions it, how should I respond?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (9 November 2020):
 How is your relationship? Are you both happy?
I can't help having a niggling feeling at the back of my mind that this may have absolutely nothing to do with his grandmother but more to do with him trying to find a way of breaking up with you, even hoping you will get sick of the situation and do the dirty dead for him. He could quite easily not mention what grandmother said - if, indeed, she said anything - but instead he chooses to tell you. That makes me suspicious.
If both of you are truly happy and want to stay together, he needs to grow a pair, pat grandmother fondly on the hand when she starts interfering with his life and continue to do what suits you two. If he keeps mentioning what gran wants, I would seriously question his commitment.
A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (9 November 2020):
 It is generally a good idea to have relationships with people who have similar goals and expectations.
You ask "If she tells him to break up with me again, and he mentions it, how should I respond?" You should respond with clear honesty.
example "Boyfriend, If you want to get married and have a child this year, I'm not the girl for you."
example "boyfriend, if you are more interested in making your grandmother happy than in my plans, I'm not the girl for you"
example "If you breakup with me I will be sad, but I don't live my life by grandmothers edict".
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