A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello, hmm where do I begin... Well my boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years. We were engaged, and he broke up with me because of one of his friends who is is a girl. I was devastated. I almost had a nervous breakdown. I lost hope and faith in myself and the world I thought about killing myself everday. 9 months later we were back together intimately and not to much in the open together. He asked me back and I accepted, however I have a serious problem with his friends. I think they may be encouraging him to leave me again. I cannot stand to think about this. I cannot go through all that pain and suffering again. Over the years I have noticed that he is very easily distracted by others and he seems to love his friends more that me, however since we have been back together he always gets angry and threatens our relationship.My question is should I leave him now and throw away this relationship because of his friends?
View related questions:
broke up, engaged Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Teacake  +, writes (3 December 2008):
 He is young and he is an asshole. Let him be the one to loose you and regret his mistakes. Never take this guy back because he sounds like a game player. You deserve so much better.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2008): Four years is a long time to be together, only to find yourself dumped because of this female friend of his! My goodness, she must have quite a 'influential grip' on him to be able to cause this much devastation in your relationships. So it makes me wonder why he would 'trust' her more than you? Because that is what this came down to. His weaknesses and his lack of 'faith and trust' in this relationship is not commendable, I have to say..
So I can certainly see why you have problems accepting his friends after having this incident happen and the suffering you went through. But...rather that scrutinizing his friends..I really think you should be assessing him. He sounds immature and very self-involved. He doesn't sound like a guy who has some backbone and can stand up to outside influences in his life. Not the type of guy, who is loyal and devoted to you. So I think it's time for you to tell him that if this relationship is going to fly, he had better learn to be strong and never allow anyone to tear you down...again. If he can't do this...I forsee a lot of pain in your future with a bf like this. Listen, you've devoted 4 years to him and if he can't respect you enough to stand up for you, don't waste another second on him. Set a boundary and make sure he's up for the task of being an honorable, good bf or cut him loose. Good luck sweety
...............................
A
female
reader, xxsecretsxx +, writes (3 December 2008):
 i think you need to sit down and tell him to his face that they may be his friends, but your his lover.
They may be able to hang out with you, but you will always be the one he comes home to. You will always be there with open arms.
Make the point to him that you don't mind his has friends, you love that fact, but what you don't like is the fact they are trying to hurt your relationship with him.
Friends come and go, but a relationship with someone you love is big. Try to tell him that they might be there once, but your there for the long haul. A friend can't help him with things a girlfriend can.
Good luck and i hope they stop trying to ruin things.
-you know i had a similar situation with my BF's sister trying to break us up. I'll tell you about it in a private message, and how i fixed it if you want.
I'm here.
-trich.
...............................
A
female
reader, kayleiigh_ox  +, writes (3 December 2008):
well..
i went threw this same situation. if you feel depressed about him being like this. sit him down on your own and just tell him the relationship has got to build back to the way it was when you first got together them years ago or its over for good. i split up with my ex that was like it and iv found another guy since and we happily getting on and were engaged dont let him get to you darling seriously there is better people out there then him.
good luck
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2008): Hi, anyone that values what their friends think, on opinions on life, dating.. over their own, is a weak and insecure person, and you don't need this in your life.. the age old saying applies here, if your friend jumped off the bridge would you? Find someone else, who will love, respect and cherish you.
...............................
|
