A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i dont know if im over reacting. I used to talk to my bf's bestfriend just a conversation stuff like that than all of a sudden he starts hitting on me telling me to come visit him, have a few and mess around and telling me not to tell him about anything. Course i went and told my bf i thought he would get somewhat upset from what his friend has said to me but he just acted like he didnt care. Didnt even bother asking his friend about it. He turned it on me telling me i shouldnt have been talking to him i was just being nice and trying to get to know his friend since we have been together for a long time. I just wanted him to confront his friend at least and to tell him i am his and to leave me alone. Am i the one who did wrong? For the guys what would you do and say to your best friend trying to be with your girl ?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (7 September 2012):
 you did nothing wrong.
I'm not sure I would stay with my BF if he didn't "take my side"
I'll tell you what happened in my life with something similar:
when my fiance and I started out we were FWB and very open about it... I'm older than he is and one of his friends is over 20 years younger than I am... when his friend found out we were going to be "spending time together" he told my then FWB: "it's old, it's not that attractive, hit it and be done"
my fiance just laughed... and told me... (yes it hurt me but I understood)...
fast forward 5 months... we are no longer FWB... now we are SERIOUS and his friend once again tried to make a snarky comment about me. his friend was told at that time "SVC is my partner and YOU will NO LONGER disrespect her or our friendship is done".... the friend now treats me with utter respect and kindness.....
A
female
reader, Kay-Way  +, writes (7 September 2012):
 You have done nothing wrong. Shame on your bf's best friend for even saying those things and more shame that your boyfriend did nothing.You are not over-reacting so don't you dare blame yourself. Like you said, you were just trying to get to know your boyfriend's friend. You cannot let this issue go. You have to tell your boyfriend that it is not okay to blame you for doing something that any other normal person would do, and then you need to smack some sense into him and tell him that his reaction was not okay. Even if his friend is that type of guy who says stupid things like that, it's no excuse to turn the blame to you.Your boyfriend's friend is obviously lousy at best, but I also have some serious doubts about your boyfriend. Best thing to do is tell him exactly how this makes you feel and that it is not acceptable!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (7 September 2012):
 I think your BF is pulling a "bros before hoes" (not that you are a hoe...)
He is making an assumption that his friend would ONLY hit on your because you somehow started it.
I'm sorry that makes for a lousy BF. And lousy best friend.
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