A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone. Me and my boyfriend have been together for five years, we did have a 11 week separation back last year and got back together in February. This separation was due to a change in circumstances and in this break we both dated other people as we did not believe we would be getting back with one another. However, we did and we have been happy since. His one single friend however was not happy about us getting back together. He tried to put him off and preach to him how much better it was to be single and sleep around. He often slated me and tried to get him to stray. He's booked hotel rooms for them in an attempt to get him to cheat on me, arranged nights out and invited numerous girls and text him trying to set him up with other people. My boyfriend off his own back has stopped bothering with this guy as much. He hasn't been out with him in months and I think it's due to his friends behaviour. It's his friends 25th birthday in two weeks and he's invited my boyfriend out along with other friends. My boyfriend has said he would go as it's his birthday and because many of his other friends are also going. Unfortunately his friend is up to his usual game playing. I saw Facebook messages (not private, public on his wall for everyone to see). His friend had messaged the girl that my boyfriend was dating in our break asking her to come out for his birthday, he then tagged my boyfriend saying that he would be there, and then said bring your playing cards again I'm sure we could have some fun with a 'wink face'. I think this is totally out of order. She is still single and apparently still likes my boyfriend, on the message she has agreed to go and bring some of her other friends along. I do trust my boyfriend but I'm not sure how I feel about him going for a boozy night out with the girl he was dating, so clearly found attractive, along with other girls and his player of a friend. I'm afraid he might regret his decision to stop dating her to get back with me, or might realise his attraction for her. I don't want to cause an arguement out of this or tell him not to go, I do however want him to tell his friend that he needs to back off. He hasn't said anything to him as my boyfriend does not like conflict. He usually just ignores him and he has ignored these messages as well. This time I think it's too far though, inviting the girls my boyfriend was dating out with them is unfair. What shall I do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2014): Nothing you can do to keep him from cheating. Its his decision. What you CAN DO IS: leave him if you dont trust him and leave him if he cheats. Any man who is that weak and ignorant doesn't deserve you. Its not worth worrying for. Take care.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2014): to be honest, I would go along with him to this party. Even if you aren't invited, your boyfriend could always bring you as his plus one to show that he's chosen you and maybe that would rub it into his friend's tiny sick brain.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2014): Whoa!!!! Your boyfriend is going to his friend's party where other girls are invited, but you are not going to be there? Your question should be "why am I not going with you?", not "Do I trust him?"
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (25 August 2014):
 Just talk to your BF, tell him you trust him, but you don't like his friend undermining your relationship.
That way your BF knows HE can go to the party (because IF I was the gf I would "let" him) and that you have no doubt he will be faithful.
YOUR BF is not responsible for his friends lame adolescent behavior. He knows the guy is off his rocker and probably jealous. Your BF has even cut the time he spends with the douche-friend down, because he KNOWS him.
The douche-friend is trying to get a raise out of you. YOU know it. Your BF knows it. He is HOPING you will tell your BF, YOU CAN'T GO! that way he can paint you as a crazy chick . Don't play his games. RISE above it.
Be a good GF. Show your BF, and TELL your BF you trust him. This douche-friend can not MAKE your BF cheat. Cheating is a CHOICE. If your BF CHOOSES to NOT cheat, then he won't cheat. No matter what his friend does.
If all it takes for your BF to cheat is alcohol and an ex? Then really how good of a bond do you two have? Does that make sense?
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