A
female
,
*az1405
writes: my boyfriend no longer lives with his parents, he lives with a 69 year old man and a couple. The thing thing that i need answering is this 69 year old hates me and now after 3 years of being in the relationship has told us we cannot see each other, this is putting us under huge pressure, bearing in mind we are both 20!! this old man hates me and practically competes with me over him, i cannot compete with an old man his also brings up the question of whether or not this man is gay? he has some kind of strange hold over my boyfriend. i have no idea what it is. The problem is its making me depressed and i have no idea what to do about it should i say something to the man, its tearing us apart but i dont want 3 years to be wasted i love him i cant seem to let him go. Help Please!!!
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female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (20 June 2006):
Your boyfriend sure has some strange housing situation going on there! Good relationships are founded on open communication so you really must talk to him about this. The old man maybe controlling for a variety of reasons - he maybe lonely if he is on his own and sees you as competition for his new 'mate'. He may hate women because of something in his past, or be bitter to find himself single at 69. Whatever his views, he cannot split you and your boyfriend up as you are both adults who are able to do as you please (within reason). If he causes friction, conduct your relationship away from the house. If your boyfriend is a strong person who loves you then he should stick by you. If he leaves then he clearly isn't the right person for you as there will be many stress tests in a long term relationship and you need to know that you can count on him in your hour of need!
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