A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend recently added a girl he used to like on facebook. They originally kept in touch back in 2005, before i met him, and i think originally, they were intouch on msn, although i dont know where they first found each other. She lives in America but we live in England. He said he was attracted to her, which seems crazy to me when he only knew her online. He also said that she helped to save his life, as he was suicidal at the time, and he said " if it wasnt for her, we wouldnt have met " . My boyfriend and I have been together on and off for five years . We met later on in 2005 . We have mainly been " on " lately, as we have been back together for nine months. Last week, i snooped, even though i probably shouldnt have done, and saw that he had sent her a message asking how she was. obviously, i didnt know who she was at that point, and when he told me who she was and about when they kept intouch, i got really upset and went mad at him. I know they cant do anything together physically, but i wouldnt even like him talking to her in a flirty/sexual way, as that would be an emotional affair, which i think is just as bad. I asked him why he searched for her on facebook , and he said it just came into his mind one day . He also said that he has a right to add anyone he wants on facebook, and talk to whoever he wants. Another reason it upset me is it isnt the first time he has done this. He once added a girl he used to like at college on there. he said they were only friends, but i saw some of their comments on facebook, and the girl put kisses in her messages and he once sent her a rude application joke that had a double meaning. Their comments sometimes seemed flirty too, but he said that was just his sense of humour, but i would never act that way unless i was attracted to someone, or going out with them. He also added a girl that he liked during a time that we were split up, and told her that he liked her, but thought she was out of his league. She had also been to his apartment, but apparently, nothing happened between them. I asked him if he added this girl from America because he had a problem with me, but he said that wasn't why he did it. Another reason i am worried is because i asked him if he had spoken to her, and he said he hadnt, which was obviously a lie. I think he lied incase i went mad at him and he said " even if i had, you would misinterpret it ". I also suggested becoming her friend on there, and he said i shouldnt because he thought i would stir things up and he said i would misinterpret anything she says. That worried me because he also denied telling the girl who went to his apartment he liked that he liked her, but i know for a fact that he did tell her that.I dont understand his behaviour, but he is at home pretty much all the time. he doesnt work as he has an illness, so i wondered if perhaps he gets lonely sometimes, and the fact that we have been on and off probably hasnt helped. He is very sweet with me though. He is there for me whenever i ask him, when we are together that is.Do you think i should be worried about this ?. We have both said that we think we are well matched, and at the moment, we are trying to make a serious go of things, and stop the arguing and breaking up.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2011): Wow is he a Pisces, or an Aries? (jk) he does seem lonely however he should be completely honest with you unless he has something else on his agenda. I know it's not a joking matter but honesty is key!
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