A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I have a boyfirend who had found me after a number of years we were in love once and parted and he found me again * I'm a bit freaked out in the time we were apart he married and now has split from his wife he has a son to her his 25 year old step daughter stayed with him after he split from her mother she died in a car accident about four years ago he has a huge tattoo of her face on his lower arm her voice still on the answering machine and has asked me if I would like to wear her perfume he also keeps her clothes and has all her stuff still in his house am I wrong to think this is a bit strange and that I should RUN !
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2011): Well it's one thing to love each other but he really sounds like he hasn't had enough time to mourn her and might need a little therapy just to help get the rest of his mourning process going. He probably needs your help. Just be careful how you step towards it google it and see what you can find.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2011): He is obviouly still traumatised by her loss. I don't know if it is strange. What is normal for one person may be strange for another. People deal with grief in different ways.
What does sound like could be an issue is the fact that you are dealing with a person who is still grieving. He is not going into this with a fresh start. But rather he has unresolved pains/baggage that he is still working through.
It is up to you if you want to give it a shot. The fact that at some level he may in fact be emotionally unavailable may be something you don't want to deal with, and who can blame you? I certainly wouldn't want to deal with that in a romantic way.
You can however be his friend. If you keep things platonic, he may need a friend or a confidant to talk to right now. That would work out fine in my opinon. That might be your best option. He is certainly someone you cared about and wouldn't want to leave him hanging in a time where he may really need a friend.
I would however, definitely not get involved with him. I don't think he is ready and you may just end up getting hurt. Keep it platonic.
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