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age
36-40,
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writes: Im the proud mum of a beautiful almost 2 year old girl who i love to death. Her godparents are my colleague (and now boyfriend) X and his now ex wife Y . As they couldn't have children of their own my daughter became like a daughter to them and they would babysit her twice as week while i did uni work. They got divorced a year and a half ago and Y hasnt seen my daughter as i didnt want there to be tension around my daughter. Recently i got an email from Y saying how much she missed my daughter and asking if she could come and see her. I asked X and he said that he'd be ok with her coming over for dinner as the marriage ended on happy terms. So i emailed back to tell Y that she can come for dinner and spend some time with my daughter and we have arranged for it to happen next week for my daughter's 2nd birthday.Can anyone tell me what to expect as we used to be really close and she was there for me when i was raped and through deciding to keep the resulting baby. Im nervous she will think we had an affair but we didnt as we only got together about a year ago. What should we talk about? Should i talk to Y before she comes over to clear the air so there wont be as much tension?Thanks in advance and sorry its long.
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (6 November 2011):
 She wont assume you had an affair. Relax. She's an adult, right, not some drama queen. She sounds like she genuinely cares about your daughter, and she is the child's God-parent still, isn't she?
Their marriage ended on good terms, and didn't involve you. I don't think it'll be a problem, and if it does then you simply don't involve her again. Don't over-think this, I doubt she's stayed up at night plotting how to get to you to accuse you of there being a fling etc, when it was a year ago. If she thought there was a fling the marriage wouldn't have ended on good terms, would it?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2011): Call her and say you cant wait for her to be part of your daughters life again because she clearly played a big part in it from when you were raped to you deciding to keep the baby to the first few months. Also the type of support she showed you shows just how close you were and as their marriage ended on good terms im sure their divorce wont get in the way of a friendship which was so strong. Try rebuilding the friendship it will be great for your daughter great for you and great for her and seeing you and your daughter happy will be great for your boyfriend. Hope all goes well x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2011): Hello
I think a little tension is inevitable but she has made the move to ask you and I don't think she will come over to be angry it sounds like she genuinely wants to see how your little girl is getting on.
If her and her ex ended on good terms then she should know that you weren't having an affair and perhaps not bringing this up would be best and just focus on the present time.
She might appreciate you calling her though and being friendly and telling her you look forward to seeing her as she will feel more comfortable about coming over and it would be kind of you to put her at ease.
I imagine this will be harder for her than it will be for you, from her point of view she has to come and witness her ex being part of a happy family and it will be difficult so be understanding of the tension on her part.
Good luck and I hope you all have a nice time x
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