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female
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*oucie
writes: no-one has answered my last question so i'll make this letter a bit shorter. I'm seeing a man, Ive known him since Sept last year. After 3 dates he decided to not see me anymore because of his ex wanting him back, as he does have her child. He decided he didn't ever want her back so after few wekeks we started to see eachother again. We meet once a fortnight and he rings me most nights. He admits he puts his barriers up bit.We get on so well and we do both fancy each other. I don't want to loose his friendship. I am scared he's going to dump me. Im now feeling i should take a step back as i don't want to push him into anything and loose him. Now when he rings i just say come over when you can. I don't put my life on hold because of him I still go out etc. Should i say to him about being good friends for now or take things slower?
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female
reader, Country Woman  +, writes (5 April 2006):
 It sounds to me like this man was confused about his feelings for his ex and loyalty because of the child. If he says that he wants to be with you then he should show it completely.
I think by the fact that you are not rushing anything with him is good. Get to know him fully and see if he will allow you to be involved in his life. He may feel that interaction with his child is just too much right now but that is the ultimate compliment if he allows you to do this, depends on the age of the child as meeting different people can be confusing for young children.
No one wants to be used and so if you think he is not being honest or does not want a proper relationship then keep it as a friendship. However if he proves to you that he means what he says then just go with the flow and see where it takes you.
It is good to keep yourself busy in between seeing him and not making him the focal point of your life. If he is keen then he will come forward more. Being elusive is not always a bad things as it may make him more interested. I am not suggesting playing games with him but he obviously hurt you when he finished with you and I think taking things slow is best at this point.
I wish you good luck.
BFN
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