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female
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*archa
writes: Dear CupidMy boyfriend has now confessed to me that his ex girlfriend may be pregnant for him. Apparently they broke up when she told him that the child she was carrying was not his. That was the story until about a month ago when the story changed and she now says that it is his.He tells me that her family members wants them to get back together and that her father is demanding in a violent way that they reconcile.He is going along with it! Pretending that they are together he says until he can prove that the child is not his and the only way to do that is by keeping good terms with them in order to get a test done. The family believes that their daughter is an angel and has not been sleeping around but was inpregnated by him and left alone.On my hand now I am hurting so much, from the start If I knew what was going on I would have stayed from him because I have no children and I want someone who has none also but intends to have in the future. I had no idea this girl was pregnant and I hold this strong standard for my self about having children, and the baggages of the ex-factor.The only reason why I am still there is because of my feelings for him. I hate the situation and I am most unhappy. But I still love him.Once he even asked me to tell the ex that we were not seeing each other to get them off his back but I refused. What should I do?
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female
reader, shania  +, writes (23 November 2005):
 What a mess,i do sympathize with you.From what i can make out your fella has been pushed from pillar to post but at the end of the day,no one can force him to stay with his pregnant girlfriend.Thats if it is his!I feel that he is weak and that he is letting other people run his life.What he should do is have a dna test to see if he is the father and if it proves he is then he should take responsibility for that child,after all its not the babys fault.If on the other hand he is not the father then theres no reason on why he is hanging around with her.If the girls father is threating your boyfriend then he should go to the police,no one should put up with that.What worries me is that he wants you to lie to this girls family that you are no longer together.Do you really want to be tangled in this situation? He can still be a father to that child but he doesnt have to stay with his girlfriend,only if he wants to be.You will have to decide whether you want to sit and wait while he decides what he wants to do.My intuition tells me that he isnt sure that he wants to stay with you or to be with his pregnant girlfriend.Sounds like he is making all the excuses up and doesnt want to tell you how he really feels.My hunch is to walk away and meet someone else who hasnt got a girl up the duff and can put all his energys on you without his potential inlaws breathing down his neck! You deserve better.
A
female
reader, Maizey_J +, writes (23 November 2005):
I think your boyfriend should tell his ex that you are seeing each other and that if the baby is his he will take responsibility. This doesn't mean getting back together with her. Once her parents see that he is taking responsibility then they should respect him. If her father becomes violent towards him he should ring the police. there is no need for that. I understand how you feel. My boyfriend has a daughter. when i first found out i wasn't sure i wanted to carry on the relationship. If the baby is his and you stay together, which i think you should, you will find it isnt as bad as it seems. Try not to think of the worst yet as it may not even be his. hope iv helped in some way.
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A
female
reader, jendeszy +, writes (23 November 2005):
He's obviously playing both sides and this is a situation that sounds like it may go on for quite some time. As hard as it may seem you need to remove your self from the triangle before you end up even more hurt than you are now. Especially if he is asking you to lie about you being a couple. Something is not right and from the sounds of it, he is not over her otherwise he wouln't deny you as his girlfriend and he would be on your side, and only your side.
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