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male
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anonymous
writes: At the start of October, I kept bumping into a girl when I was out at the weekend. After a few weeks, we started emailing each other. Then she came home from uni three weekends ago and we got on well. She asked me out to a gig the following weekend. I agreed.We went to the gig and had a really really good night. It ended in me staying at her place. Nothing happened other than us hugging and kissing however. She told me that she's not long been out of a relationship. Which is fine. I wasn't concerned about it being a one night stand. The next morning, we agreed to meet up. I left her place with a huge smile on my face. She suggested meeting up last weekend. She said she had plans to go to a house party and she invited me. On Saturday, I called her and she told me that it wasn't really worth me coming down as she was staying in with her friends. Which is fair enough. We spoke on Sunday and she then said that she'd come and see my band on Monday. On Monday, I called her to check if she was still coming to my gig and she said she couldn't as she has no money. I know that I have been upset in the past and maybe I'm analysing everything far too much and getting paranoid for no reason, but why is this girl keeping me at arm's length? I'm not saying I want a relationship with her or anything, I hardly know her. All I know is that I like her and would love to get to know her better. I suppose what I really want to know is, have I done something wrong and/or why is she avoiding me, but keeping the door open?
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female
reader, shania  +, writes (23 November 2005):
 Give it one last shot,she might be genuine.Ask her if you could see her again,that you would like to take her out somewhere,if she says yes then great,take it from there and take it slowly.But,if on the other hand she makes another excuse up,like shes washing her hair then its fair enough to say shes not interested,simple as that.Dont chase her,just go and find some other gorgeous girl to take out.Goodluck.
A
female
reader, Maizey_J +, writes (23 November 2005):
I think this girl is worried about getting hurt. I dont know how her last relationship ended but if she got dumped then she is just being wary. She may not have had a previous relationship even though she says she has, but it may be a case of her not feeling fully comfortable with a lad. If this is the case, dont take offence, its may just be easier for her to say that, rather than seeming self concious etc. Try talking to her about it. You seem like an understanding person. Let her know that. I was the same. Even if i liked a lad i would make up an excuse. It wasnt because i didnt like them. It was a case of not wanting to get hurt, wanting to feel comfortable, feeling that i didnt have to do anything i didnt want. Hope i have helped.
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