A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I are 26 years old. My boyfriend has a brother that is 24 years old and I have a brother that is 14 years old.The problem is that my boyfriend's brother will not let my brother visit his house due to his age. My boyfriend's brother does not want anyone under the age of 21 years old in his house. My boyfriend's brother does have beer at his house and he does not want to worry about underage kids getting into his beer.When my parents are out of town, I have had to miss events at my boyfriend's brothers' house due to this rule. For example, he was having a small pool party with his family and friends that I could not attend because I had my little brother with me. My brother found out about the small party on Facebook he cannot understand why he couldn't attend. Is there anyway to talk my boyfriend's brother into making an exception for my brother? Is he being unreasonable or does he have a point about not inviting people under 21 under?
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2017): It's his house, and his rules. Not much can be said otherwise.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2017): I totally agree with your boyfriends brother. If he is having a party at his house for his friends and relatives. Rather then totally alienating your brother from getting to know your boyfriends brother suggest eating out as a family. Sunday lunch occasionally, no teenager expects to be able to drink at a family lunch. Plus your parents will probably be there. Invite your boyfriends brother round for lunch and he can get to know your brother. Go to theme parks together or cinemas, there are so many ways around this and your are just looking at the fact that maybe your boyfriends brother just doesn't like kids. He probably will love to interact with your brother be in situations were your brother is totally safe and not around a lot of young adults drinking. Go on holiday together, take control and maybe when you visit your boyfriends brother by yourselves when there is no party going on things will get better. His house, his rules.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2017): Your brother's boyfriend is a very smart man.Alchol and teenaged children do not mix well. He does not want to go to jail so you can bring your little brother to his drinking party. What would your parents say about you wanting him to go drink with you? That is the perfect way to lose your parents trust. They are trusting you to look out for him when really all you are thinking about is yourself. So stay home order a pizza and play video games. How hard is that? When your parents come home and you are no longer responsible for a child then you go party.
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A
male
reader, judgedick  +, writes (30 July 2017):
 When I started reading this post I built an image of a man with a red room filled with cooled beer of his favorite brand protected with chains and locks,
By the time I got to the end and see your example of a pool party I thought this BF's brother is very clever and right in putting down this rule, as he can drink and play and not worry about a kid getting his hands on drink and it would be in the eyes of the law the owners fault and he would be held responsible,
Other than from the legal view point if it is his house he sets the rules and by having on exceptions there is no gray area.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (30 July 2017):
 Your boyfriend's brother is being very sensible and adult. As it is his house, then he can make whatever rules he wants. This rule has probably come about because something happened at some point (to him or someone he knows) and he has decided to safeguard himself in his own home, which is totally sensible. You have no right to challenge that just because it does not suit you.
If your parents expect you to look after your brother while they are away, and that is what you agree to do, then you must just miss any parties at this guy's house at those times or make alternative arrangements for your brother's care. Could someone else not look after your brother for one day? A relative perhaps, or could he stay with a friend (with the prior permission of the friend's parents and your parents of course)?
I doubt your brother it actually as bothered about this as YOU are. What would a 14 year old be doing on Facebook, looking at the pages of 24 year olds anyway? And what would a solitary 14 year old DO at a pool party of adults? He would not have anyone of a similar age to hang out with, he could not drink. If he is anything like the 14 year olds I know, he would be saying he was bored within an hour of arriving and wanting to go home.
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (30 July 2017):
Is the place owned or rented by the brother? If so, it's his home and HIS rules. Your BF can always move out on his own, right?
Which means if your parents are away and you have assumed responsibility for watching over your brother then parties are out of the question.
Besides, I don't think a 14-year-old needs to be hanging out at a 21+ pool party...
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