A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My Boyfriend's brother hates me. They tell me he doesn't, at least at first they did. But eventually they all started to see what I've seen for a while now. I've know both guys for about 5 years now, we all went to high school together. Before my boyfriend and I got together, I was a really good friend of his brothers. We had one class together where we always teamed up and picked on the teacher and joked around. Together...we were always together, and we were the class clowns. :) it was great, but we weren't failing...we were the top students of the class, him and I, and we were rivals in that sense, always trying to do better than the other. He was the reason I did so well in that class. When I got with my boyfriend, it was around that time that I still had a class with his brother...and I noticed the change in his brother after about six months of my boyfriend and me being together. By the time the class was over he had become cold to me....I tried to appeal to him, tried to figure out what I did wrong. That's when it got physical. He hurt me, physically, a lot, and eventually I became terrified of him. By my senior year in high school, not a year after I got with my boyfriend, I was taking the long way to avoid his brother. His brother and I are in the same grade and my boyfriend was a year ahead of me. By senior year it was just his brother and me in school, while my boyfriends began to live the college life.I was really scared of him, ridiculously so. I thought he was going to go as far as kill me, I was crazy with fear. It was insane. If I saw him, I'd run the opposite way. One time I accidentally bumped into him and I didn't realize it was him till I looked up. By then I was halfway through an apology and when I saw it was him...well...they tell me that I jerked away from him and that I fainted...but I don't really remember. Lol, fainted right into his arms, though I'm sure he dropped me. I really don't know what came over me. He continued to ignore me the entire time.He looked at me when he thought no one else was watching or I wasn't. There was something feral about his cerulean eyes and I couldn't understand the hidden message he was trying to get across. When we both graduated, my boyfriend moved up to Oregon with his grandmother and his brother stayed down here and continued with his National Guard stuff. I go to college and I avoid his part of town completely. I'm still with my boyfriend, even now.But it's such a problem for the people in his family now. They see the way his brother treats me, he refuses to be anywhere near me, and I him. My boyfriend is really hurt by it. He knows it's not me and that I would do anything to fix it.But just the other day when I was gonna go out with some friend and my boyfriend didn't like where I was going (he's a bit controlling) he called his brother and asked him to stop me. Of course I had no idea that he was coming, and because my boyfriend was pleading with me I ended up going home instead of going to hang out. When I told my boyfriend about it he told me he'd called his brother and his brother had agreed to come down and stop me from going. That surprised both me and my boyfriend because for about a year now he wouldn't even stand being in the same 10 mile radius as me, lol. I didn't believe my boyfriend so he had his brother txt me...and his brother did. He said, "I would do anything for my brother."And I replied, "And anything you couldn't do for him, I would."I don't understand anything and I'm still really scared of him. Does anybody know what to make of this?
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2009): he had strong feelings for you and then you went out with his brother
A
female
reader, MammaDex  +, writes (23 November 2009):
Well.. isn't it obvious to you yet?
Let me put it this way to you, if you had been very close to a guy for a long time, den 1 day he was suddenly attach to your sister, how would you feel?
It could mean 2 thing, depending how you look at stuff...
1st, it could mean that he like you, really like you, and he may thought you liked him too, so when you got hook up with his brother he felt hurt, and needed time to get over you.. that explain why he kept looking at you when he thought no one knows it.. When he is hurt, he too is feeling awkward, the gal he like is with his brother so he cant seems to tell you the truth.. an easy way out is to totally ignore you and hurt you physically...
Or 2nd, Being always close to you, when you got hook up with his brother, he sense the closeness between you and him are depleting, he felt the jealousy arouse, which caused him to react such a way.. He may have missed the great times you guys have but he knows he has to put a barrier between your friendship and closeness with you, in order not to hurt his brothers feeling, thus he react such a way...
Now you said he's willing to do what his brother ask shows that he slowly getting over his feelings or jealousy he has for you.. Maybe he have gotten over, maybe he have not.. But what ever it is, he's using his brother as a reason to clear things up...
What you have to do now is give him time, initially he and you will be close enough but literally not like what you and him used to be... Let him take his pace, one day you two will talk and laugh about it...
Just be sure that he realize you are always there for him as a friend, and he can count on you to make his brother happy..
look the bright side and have faith...
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