A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Well, I suppose that it started when my boyfriend cheated on me when I was pregnant. I had a really hard time dealing with it, but as with all wounds, time has helped to heal. A few months ago, my boyfriends boss/ brother/ best friend and some friends of ours were hanging out at a bar. My boyfriend decided to leave early but I was not ready, so, he entrusted his best friend to bring me home. We drove around for a while and he kept taking back roads and asking "do you know where we are?" I was drunk and finally admitted to having no idea. He pulled into a dark, side road and began to make a move on me. I declined several times. He threatened to fire my boyfriend (we have a 2 year old son and I was not working) and to leave me there if I did not engage in sexual activity with him. Finally, after disagreeing, he proceeded to force himself upon me. I went home, threw up and just laid in bed with my boyfriend and my son. I vowed never to tell my boyfriend because of the heartache it would bring him (and I don't know if he would believe me). Recently, however, his brother told him that I had cheated with him. Now the family is against me and calling me names but I almost think that it is better that way rather than destroying so many relationships and people who depend on one another on a day to day basis. Recently, I found out, that since my boyfriend found out, he has been talking and receiving dirty pictures via email from the girl he cheated on me with when I was pregnant. I do not know what to do. I am very depressed. I know that he will not believe me and we have been together for so long... someone help.
View related questions:
best friend, cheated on me, depressed, drunk, move on Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (16 December 2008):
 First of all this person had not right to do what he did. My ex-wife almost had something like that happen, until she said she would tell no matter what if he didn't stop, and because I was substantially bigger and stronger than this guy, he took her back to the party.
What you are going through is awefull. It's not just the sexual act, it's what you live with afterward as well. This is now not about him, your boyfriend or the family. It's about you. You were the one violated. As long as you hold the pain in, you'll continue to be violated. You must have been extremely afraid, and acted based upon the fear. Now it's time for you to take your life back. Look at what he's doing, raping, then blaming you for it.
The part you are wrong with your assumption is not talking about what happened. It may cause some heartache, but even more it's the beginning of healing. You need to talk with someone, if not your boyfriend talk to a counselor or victims advocate and they can direct you further.
I hope you get the healing you deserve from this. Take care.
|
