A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I think my boyfriend's best friend is unconsciously trying to sabotage our relationship! His best friend is a girl and anyone with working eyes can see she has a thing for him. My boyfriend insists they are just friends, though. But when he says that, I can see it in his eyes that he's almost sad about that. Now, this girl isn't a crazy bitch seeing as she doesn't dilberately start fights with me, but she gives me death glares on a regular basis and looks at MY boyfriend longingly when she knows he isn't looking. She also looks away as if she's going to cry when she sees him and I getting closer. And here's the kicker: he defends her ALL THE TIME and is over at her house alone ALL THE TIME! I always end up looking like the jealous bad guy but he seems to care more about her than he does about me. I have had talks with him about this plenty of times, but he never seems to listen! He also talks about her a lot in my presence. I mean, they've known each other for years on end (I think twelve years is what my boyfriend told me once) and have been best friends for just as long; might there be a real romantic connection between them or are they just a brother/sister kind of deal? I'm also wondering if I should just break up with him and let them do their own thing or try and make this work with him?What should I do?
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female
reader, kellyxxx  +, writes (28 February 2009):
 If he is unwilling to drop this friend then your relationship will NEVER be able to work! If he takes her side over yours then he obviously is a fool too! My advice would be to sit him down and tell him that you want to be in a relationship with just him and not his best friend. Tell him there is not enough room in the relationship for three of you! Its kind of a 'her or me' situation, you can't live side by side and life is too short to put up with a situation which makes you unhappy! If he chooses her then you know where you sand, forget about him and move on! X
A
female
reader, lillymay  +, writes (28 February 2009):
 hi,
i was in your situation when i met my first love.his best friend was and still is a girl.it was very difficult to come to terms with.he and she always insistead they had always just been friends and they were very close.now,i cant tell u that that feeling went away cause it never did.i was with him for 3 years and i always had a jealous side to me when it came to her.we eventually brooke up and i can tell u that they r still best friends and he is happily married to someone else.
all i can advise is that u go on your gut instinct,never lets a woman down.ask yourself how much do u love this guy?try getting a closer bond with his friend,get to no her a bit more.it is certainly possible that man and woman can be just friends.i have very close male friends and thats all it is, friendship.u have to decide weather u think it is just friendship and if u think he is worth the effort.it can be a good thing that he has a close female friend as it gives him an insight as to how we woman work.have u thought about maybe talking to the friend on a girl on girl level.u never no,u mite get some of the anwswers u r looking 4.u have to confront this headon as it wont go away and when u dont talk about whats troubeling u it will build up in your mind to something it really isnt.u will blow it all out of proportion.
and as 4 he takes her side all the time,u have to think thats what friends do 4 each other.u need to tell him how it makes u feel when he does this.weigh up everything in your head,talk to him and her,not over a drink,bad idea.please let me no how it works out,id really like to no.i hope this was helpful to u ,good luck,
lillymay.
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