A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have a boyfriend and he has a girlfriend but he seems to still put effort to get with me. Ask me for dinner, trying to get my attention, chat asking about me and my boyfriend etc. He's also my boyfriend's best friend. How he could still trying to close with me. Honestly he's very attractive, rich and has good sense of humor. But I feel guilty if I accept his invitation to accompany him to dinner. I like him, but I don't love him. I'm just attracted to him because my boyfriend keep busy and we met only once for a week for 3 hours long. How should I act? What decision should I take? I feel guilty to betray my boyfriend if I accept it. But I also can't stand on being lonely all the time. Were going for dinner only and not more than that. I'm not kind of girl that involve in free sex or whatever. Just feeling uneasy if I go with him while still having boyfriend. Hellpppp...
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYes, last night I rejected the dinner with him. I know I would regret it if my boyfriend or other know and if I grow some feeling with him. I need to keep a distance with him.Other than that, last night after went home from work,when my boyfriend call me, I told him what happen, I told him that he asked me to a dinner and told me that don't easily believe a man who look good and kind, bc there's always different in the back. I think he means that's my bf. My bf is a very good guy. After that my bf told me he can say anything what he like as that's his mouth, we can't control what other would say. I just need to think twice and the decision is on my hand whether that could be believe or not.I'm dimploma graduated 2 months ago but until now I'm still jobless. I help my parents business around and have piano lesson. What can I do to fill and add my activitiy?Still having no idea what to do. I prefer learing new things outside than work.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2012): You know its wrong so why even ask what you should do about it? You should already know the answer to that.Try to weigh up the pros and cons and see which outweigh the other, it might put things into perspective for you. You have a steady long term relationship with your boyfriend, who loves you and sounds like a good guy, who's done nothing wrong to you and doesn't deserve to be betrayed.(albeit he is busy with work and doesn't spend as much time with you as you would like), but you can't use that as an excuse, and at least he's trying to earn an honest respectable living. Not some selfish spoilt ego maniac that's probably only rich because his parents are rich and probably hasn't done an honest days work in his life. Someone who thinks nothing of just using women and friends for what he wants and then discard them when it suits him, because he has a view to believe he's entitled to everything he's not, and deserves everything he doesn't.Find other things (not guys) to occupy you when your boyfriend isn't around and cherish the time you do spend with him. They say absence makes the heart grow fonder, not give you a reason to betray your lover.If you opted for option B, to put it quite honestly he'll only do to you what he's doing to his girlfriend and cheat on you. But if he's still that irresistible to you, then go ahead but don't wonder why your life has been turned upside down faster than you can blink.
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A
female
reader, jinxx  +, writes (16 July 2012):
 You are feeling uneasy because you know that it's wrong. That's your conscience tapping you on the shoulder, saying "don't do it!"
If I were you, I'd listen.
If you have issues with your boyfriend, and the lack of time you spend together, that's something you're going to have to discuss with him. Maybe you'll both be able to find more time. If not, and eventually you two decide to split up, it would be better for you to move on, and NOT with his best friend. That will cause an entirely new set of problems that I am sure you have no interest in dealing with.
Does it matter why he's still trying to get close to you? He has a girlfriend and he's coming on to you all the time. All that tells me is that he's a scumbag. How would you feel if your boyfriend was making moves on other women behind your back? How would you feel if the other girl accepted his invitations? You would feel horrible, I'd bet. That's exactly how this girl will feel if she ever finds out.
If I were you, I'd tell this guy to get lost. Tell him to respect his girlfriend AND his best friend, and to stop asking you out. If he doesn't take that to heart, you might try letting that poor girl know exactly what kind of guy she's with.
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