A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend messed me around for a year, flirting with girls, metting up with his ex in secret. We talked it through and we're still going out, but it has turned me into a clingy, obsessed and overthoughtful person. And I HATE that. I hate what I am now, What do I do? PLEASE help :(
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2010): I know exactly how you feel :/ the same thing happened to me when I started seeing my boyfriend. He cheated on me a couple times and never told me about it, until I seen all the texts on his phone (I no I shouldn't have looked) but couldn't help myself. Since that day I have became paranoid,clingy, obsessed and moody all because of him I am not the same person as I used to be and I have trust issues now :/ .. I'm still with him and have been for over 2 years now, and everyday I think about what he has done, its something you cannot block out of your life. I love my boyfriend with all my heart but now I'm starting to wonder what life would be like without him and if I would be a better person? If you feel that things are meant to be then u could try and make it work, but if you don't think things will last them u need to find someone who will treat u with respect and won't hurt you. Best of luck! 3
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2010): Personally, I know if I was in your situation I wouldn't be able to forget and would act exactly how you are and feel the same too.
The only way I would get over it is by leaving him because nothing would make up for cheating and I wouldn't want to become resentful and clingy for the rest of my life. Especially because I wouldn't want my future relationships ruined because I had trust issues. Best to let go and move on.
But you are your own person and only you know if you can rise above what has happened.
Good Luck x
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2010): honey,you should have left his sorry ass from the start,any man who cheats on you don't mean you no good at all.
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female
reader, pinktopaz  +, writes (1 November 2010):
SillyB is right...the problem isn't what he "made" you, you stay with him and that's why you are the way you are.
I know that's not the answer you're looking for, but you can't change him. The only person you can change is yourself and I think it's only normal to act that way after what he did. So either you can continue to be clingy and worry about what he's doing when you're not there or let him go because he's bringing out the worst in you and not the best.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2010): I am in even deeper: been with fiance for 7 yrs and just found out he cheated for 3 yrs! You should leave before it gets any harder. If you aren't your best version of yourself with him you should be with someone else. You are young and need to find someone who doesn't cause your needy, clingy behaviour because otherwise it will drive u apart later. Trust me it is harder to leave the longer you've been together. I hope you find happiness!
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female
reader, mselu08 +, writes (1 November 2010):
I know every situation is different, but I'll tell you mine. After 6 months of dating my boyfriend, he cheated on me. Not only did he cheat, but he lied and went back and forth between me and the other girl for months. I forgave him, and we got back together. It's been four years and we are engaged now. He hasn't done anything else and treats me well. But I still resent him for it. I still question his every move. Four years later and it still hurts just as bad as if it happened yesterday. I sometimes wish I could go back in time and never have met him. I know it's hard, but maybe you can be stronger than I am and just walk away.
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A
female
reader, SillyB +, writes (1 November 2010):
 Its a problem you've created for yourself by STAYING with him.
Any time a man makes you feel like you are NOT the center of his world, its time to walk away...
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