A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:my bf and i have been together for years,we live together and i knew he liked porn,but now,he is putting porn under the sink,in his mp3 player,everywhere.we have sex like once a week and i tried to come on to him,he declined,later that night he is on the internet downloading porn,i talked to him about how this hurts me and he just gets sneakier,i feel like he is cheating on me,he also stopped foreplay,but i still give to him,what should i do??
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2009): I am so sorry for this issue you are going through for starters. I have the same current issue. I also am no super model and my husbands problem got so bad he called me jenna in bed one night. I was crushed. I will just tell you its a long hard road. Our last problem was over 7 months ago and I still check his computer and Iphone and when i see his deleated logs I always wonder. Our sex life is on the mend really slowly. He has ejaculation problems he never had before but things are getting better every week.
If you really love this person talk to them and try your best to be supportive. You have every right to feel the way you do. From the sound of it your SO has a problem and recovery is always long and painfull for both of you.
Do not make his porn fantasies come true just to get his attention. Thats degrading. If he cant sex u up for you then whats the point? good luck hun -hugs-
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni appreciate the replies!! i did talk to him about the porn issue, he says nothing!i told him that im getting a complex over the issue,he said:dont blame me for you being insecure! right after i tell him why...i mean,im not a model,but i know how to use what i got and the one person i need to notice me and make me feel beautiful he does not seem to really notice...maybe hes just comfortable, just dont know how to handle it...yikes.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2009): I'm sorry hun, but if he is truly addicted to porn, it will do no good to talk to him or try to spice up by dressing up. It's like trying to compromise with an alcoholic by going to the bar with him!Unfortunately, because this is a relatively new thing..(before the internet it was unheard of for a man to give up sex with his significant other and become a pornosexual)...not very many people know about it and what it is truly about. People that do know about it are usually women who have been affected by their boyfriends addiction and men who are addicted.It is sadly true that as the disease progresses, the addiction hijacks their sexuality...there is something to look forward to! The sad thing is, in their mind only..they are great lovers LOL. Usually even before they abandon their partners, they become quick draws and you get next to nothing for foreplay. They don't take their partners enjoyment into consideration because they think you are there to serve them just like the porn stars.The net has a lot of information on this subject, some good, some bad. Some sites I can recommend....npsupport.net and recoverynation.org.Educate yourself and then decide if you wish to continue in this relationship, don't worry what other people say...you wouldn't ask people if you should stay with an alcoholic, would you? I feel for you, I've been there and personally, I think it would be easier to live with an addict of any other sort, including herion addict, over porn addict. At least I can have sex with a heroin addict!
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A
female
reader, LoveIsRough +, writes (24 October 2009):
 Get into something really sexy...and play out a porn fantasy for him. Try something like dressing up as a student in ponytails, a plaid skirt, and an oxford shirt....with maybe one of his ties.....You've got to spice up your love life enough to make him want to be yours....He's probably just afraid that he's not good enough to satisfy you.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (24 October 2009):
First of all, put him on a sex ban. If you're doing all the work, then there really is no point. Secondly, sit him down and ask him why he's doing this. The only way to sort this oout is by talking and listening. You need to ask him why he's suddenly become cold towards you. Is he stressed at the moment? Could there be anything in his life the is preventing him from bothering? Start there, and see what he says.
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