A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:DearcupidHey all, I'm just looking for a bit of advice regarding my boyfriend. We've been together around 4 months and within this time I've come to realise what a heavy drinker he is. I'm becoming increasingly concerned about it. We've talked about it on a few occasions, most of these times he's brought it up himself - usually following a weekend bender. He says how he's aware he needs to cut down, but goes to pub simply because his mates are there. He's told me he gets bored at home when he's not a work, so goes to pub for 'something to do'.I just don't know how to discourage him from doing this, I'm worried about his health and I get really annoyed with him when he's drunk, not that he gets drunk every time he goes out - just once/twice a week maybe. Every time he says he's going to pub (via text) I just feel this build-up of anger inside me and I can't help but be pissed off with him.When me and him are together, we do on the odd occasion go to pub for a few drinks. I don't mind that too much because at least I'm there to keep an eye on him and try to stop him from going overboard. Majority of the time though, we just go back to his place and chill out with a film and other stuff... lol. He is a lovely guy and very caring, although we are quite opposites in a lot of ways. His drinking is the only problem I've got with our relationship, as we do genuinely get on great and we're happy together. He just doesn't seem to have any future prospects; he's not interested in taking up driving, saving money for a place of his own, and doesn't have any hobbies either. I can summarise his life in 3 words - 'work', 'pub' and 'me'. If he's not at work, he's at pub and if he's not at pub, he's with me! And the rest of the time he just lazes around at home watching tv, complaining how bored he is - which then results in him going for a few drinks! (surprise surprise) So that's the situation basically. Does anyone have any suggestions? I would also like to add that one of his mates is a bad influence on him (and is borderline alcoholic). He hassles my boyfriend to go out with him all the time which annoys me too! Thank you in advance for any responses! Much appreciated.
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2012): oh my god this is exactly what my boyfriend is like too ! only just fit watching and playing football in to that as well wich also revolves around the pub, with a very alcohol loving influential best friend. its not that we mind they go out , my boyfriend gets it wrong all the time and is like you never used to care when i went out but he doesn't relaise that not the reason we get pissed at them its the fact drink seems to revolve around everything in their life, and is the route of all there problems, maybe try telling him exactly how you feel, i spoke about it with my boyfriend and got quiet upset and when he saw it was hurting me that much its made him think a little not that its solved any immediate problems was just one step closer to making him realize , he took some advice ( the prospect side of it all) and did his cv got a new job ect wich is good all a step in the right direction, let him see that its you caring and feeling rather than being an angry mardy bum ( not saying you are thats just how i came across sometimes and it never worked) our feminine sensitivity works to our advantage sometimes, especially if your guys a sucker for tears :) good luck to you and your man x
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2012): There is no "saving" this guy. Drop him like yesterday's garbage. You will be lonely for a while but get active, volunteer and get out there. You will meet someone decent with whom you can have a future with.
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