A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid, I have been in a relationship with this guy for a little over 2 years now. We both just recently graduated high school. We have always been the couple everyone said will last forever and the couple everyone looked at as perfect. Lately though... My boyfriend has been very distant. He never seems to ever have time for me anymore and when I talk to him about it he just shoots it down. I don't want to make him feel bad for not really showing me attention because he does need his own space but this has been going on for a while and its like quality time and attention towards me just doesn't matter but if I do what he does its a huge problem. I have been trying to just push this down and hope it is just a funk he is in maybe due to stress that I don't know about but it has been months and I don't know how long I can just keep acing like it doesn't hurt when he chooses all these other things over me. I guess my question is what should I do to get the point across that him never giving me attention or wanting to spend quality time with me hurts? I have tried to talk to him about it but I hate making him feel bad about stuff because he just says he has responsibilities that come before me. Please help -A Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (1 June 2018):
 I think at your age it's more common that a BF/GF is NOT the top priority. It shouldn't be.
However, as you stated you have both FINISHED high school and well, college, trade school or whatnot, lies ahead - you two might go to different geographical places for your further education and an LDR at this stage in your lives is highly unlikely to succeed.
I get that he has responsibilities that can come BEFORE seeing you. If he is into sports or already works after school or whatever they are. It might also just be his way of saying... "you are pretty LOW on my list".
So if you look at the relationship AS IT IS right now, are you content with it? Do you feel it's going anywhere? That it's good for the two of you?
IF not, I'd suggest you end it with him. YOU have TRIED to express that you feel neglected and he ignores it. I ado agree with Code Warrior that he MIGHT have responsibilities which ARE more important than "making" you happy. And if that is the case, maybe he isn't really ready for a serious relationship.
My guess is he has been pulling away lately because he knows you two are bound to go in different directions in life and he hasn't wanted to be the one to end the relationship.
And .. just because you LOOK great together and people admire you as a couple doesn't mean you will work out. Sorry.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2018): Guys don't want to be the bad guy. Or communicate about their feelings or the relationship. Especially young, immature guys. He might be hoping you get the hint and leave him. When they distance themselves and not address it, it can be a bad sign. Tell him you are thinking about ending it and see what he says/does.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (31 May 2018):
 You both got in to a relationship when you where quite young and sometimes people naturally drift apart as they grow up. Has he got a legit reason for not wanting to spend time with you? What are his responsibilities that is keeping him away from you? Or is he just making excuses?
If you have not been feeling happy for months then you really both need to sit down and talk about the relationship.
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