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female
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anonymous
writes: My boyfriend wont let me go out with anyone but him he even gets mad if i want to be with my girlfriends for just a night what should i do? i know he loves me but this is not right Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Scarlet +, writes (3 November 2006):
 I got with my soon to be ex-boyfriend 6 years ago, and he would never let me go out with my friends when we first got together, every now and then I managed to go out with them, but it meant that we would argue all night when I got home and the next day he would treat me like rubbish. I put up with it all this time, I have never truly been happy with him and I ended up cutting off from all my friends. I am now in the process of leaving him, and I am going out with my friends all the time because he can't say or do anything about it.
The point I am trying to make is a big part of me feels sad for wasting all these years trying to please someone else and missing out on quality time with friends and family.
I agree with confusedinkent and lemonpixie, you need to lay the law down right away, because your longing to go out with friends will only get stronger, and the more you do what he says, the harder it will be to ever do anything that YOU want. But if he doesnt accept it, you need to get out of the relationship.
A
male
reader, childof1981  +, writes (1 November 2006):
 I agree 100% with Lemonpixie, this behavior is a common trait in the early stages of an abusive relationship and will lead to no good. By showing anger at you for wanting to go out with your friends he is showing a fundamental lack of respect to you, and you can not form a healthy relationship with a person who does not respect you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2006): I agree this is a control issue for your boyfriend.
When you love someone you want them to go out and have fun with thier friends.
I would tell him that he is being extremly unreasonable, and if he continues to do so then you will leave.
The sad thing is that you really should leave him because unless he changes overnight your gonna have to put up with this for a very long time!!.
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A
female
reader, Lemonpixie +, writes (1 November 2006):
 No he doesnt love you he controls you. How long have you two been dating? If you let it happen it will only continue to get worse... this is a form of abuse. They first seperate you from friends then family then the have control over you completely... I say get out while you can... If he loved you he wouldn't be so possesive
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