A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been with my boyfriend for nearly 6 months and we do have a happy relationship, but my boyfriend still won't have sex with me! I have tried to be alluring and sexy for him but he just never seems interested in me. I'm still a virgin and i feel really hurt that I'm not as sexy as all his other girlfriends. I get really insecure when i make a move on him and he doesn't respond, i just feel completely heartbroken. I'm not totally unattractive(Dress size 10(UK)and bra size 34DD)So why won't he have sex with me??
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male
reader, WiredReds  +, writes (3 October 2008):
Well either he is gay and he is just using your relationship to make others think he's a macho kinda guy. Or, he has enough respect for you and your body, that he doesn't want to risk you getting knocked up. He may be worried about the consequences of your actions. Are you ready to have a baby if the condom breaks or slips off? Cause it does happen. I'd be thanking god that there is a guy out there that cares enough about you to not have intercourse with you.
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/birth-control/outercourse-4371.htm
Check this site out. It gives alternative ways to enjoy a sexual relationship without actually engaging in intercourse. Just remember, even without vaginal intercourse; oral as well as other ways can still lead to the transmission of STDs. Now I'm not condoning any sexual activity at your age, but if it's gonna happen, at least do what is best safely.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2008): 1) You are underage.
2) If he was forcing you, we would be telling you to leave him.
3) If you loved him enough you wouldn't force him into it.
4) i seriously think you're paraniod.
5) He may not be ready, and so what if he isn't.
6) He is probably respecting your age. And thats hard to come by.
7) Just enjoy each others company for another couple of years.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2008): We would all be telling you to dump him if it was him that was dying to have sex and not respecting your wishes. You're not any different so I'm going to say what I would say to a guy and that's get over it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2008): You present as aged 13-16 (underage) and currently living in the UK. Your boyfriend has been very sensible, it is illegal to have sex untill you are 16. Aside from the problems of pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases, the police take underage sex seriously. If your boyfriend is the same age as you he can be placed on the "sex offenders register" and maybe be banned from seeing you again. If he is older than you he will definately go to jail. You may want sex and you may want to take the risk, but your boyfriend dosen't.
I suggest you calm down my dear, what the hell do you think first time sex is all about. If you think it's a bed of roses, well you better think again. Sex changes relationships and your lucky you have a boyfriend who respects you enough to take time to get to know you before trying to have sex with you. Sex dosen't make you more beautiful,and it dosen't even mean your loved. But a boy who cares about your welfare and dose what he thinks best is somebody who is good to you.
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A
female
reader, scrazy  +, writes (22 July 2008):
 Well first of all, you're WAY too young to be having sex in the first place, in the UK, the age of consent is 16.
So maybe your boyfriend doesn't feel like having underaged sex and then getting in trouble for it.
Second of all, sex is NOT everything. You do not need to have sex with your boyfriend to show him you love him. Sex will not make him love you more and at your age, you're only thinking of the thrill of having sex, not the repercussions that it could have.
Unwanted pregnancy, STI's, regret... You have a LOT to think about before you decide that you're ready for sex. So I suggest you wait until you're 16 before you think about it again.
Thirdly, you should be happy that your boyfriend probably RESPECTS you enough not to sleep with you, even though his hormones are probably all over the place. Or have you ever considered that he is not ready to have sex?
Finally, what really is the big rush to sleep with him? You have your whole life ahead of you to have sex; this isn't the only boy you're going to be with, you don't have to give him your virginity. It's a very precious thing to a lot of girls and you don't want to just give it away like that.
Stop pressuring your boyfriend, have you tried asking him why he doesn't want to have sex? Don't think it's because he doesn't like you, you guys have been together for 6 months, which is a long time for your age.
All the Best
XO
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A
female
reader, happytochat  +, writes (22 July 2008):
I understand that you must feel rejected and bad about yourself as your bf doesnt want to have sex. But just because he doesnt doesnt mean there is anything wrong with you!
Have you asked him WHY he doesnt want to have sex.
Im sure if you asked him, you would find that there is some reason which isnt anything personal towards you. Maybe hes not ready. Maybe he wants to wait a bit longer.
Im sure he finds you attractive and likes you alot. If he didnt, then he wouldnt of been going out with you for 6 months still.
Dont put pressure on him. Tell him that you are interested in having sex and for him to let you know if and when he is ready.
I think you really do need to ask him why he doesnt want to, that way you can sort this whole situation out.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2008): Firstly,your too young to have sex,which im sure you know.
I didn't have sex with my boyfriend untill we had been together for over a year.
Think yourself lucky,not alot of men appreciate you enough to wait,& think how special it will be knowing he loves you that much he is willing to wait untill you are both the right age! :)
Remember : 16 is the legal age to have sex in the UK,if you do it before you boyfriend WILL get in trouble.
xxx
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A
female
reader, xx-hey-xx +, writes (22 July 2008):
he is probs repecting your age- think of this as a good thing
it shows he cares
xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2008): Your age says your 13-15. You have so long to have sex, i lost my virginity at 14. i was to young. i honestly regret it. i know so much now. sex is great, when your ready for it. when you know what a proper relationship is. im not saying you don't love your boyfriend, and im not trying to patronise you. im trying to find the words to explain to you how bad an idea it isto loose your virginity now. Please reconsider. wats the rush? your body is sacred. it is precious. please dont rush to give it away. make the boys wait. they will appreciate it so much more. men love what they can't have. don't give it to them, girlswill be jelouse aswell. because you will have a great respect for yourself and boys will respect you too. after i lost my virginity, boys expected me to have sex with them. i thought that mentthey loved me.i was so wrong. i was used. i am married now. my husband respects me and sex is amazing and special. but it has taken alot of therepy and counciling (i still have major issues) to teach meto respect myself again. make em wait for your body hun, you are sooooooo worth it!!!! x x x
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2008): you are both too young, he probably knows this and try to ignore you in order to restrain and unchivalrous urge to leap on you.
when you are both 18 I bet he would be all over you like a bad rash.
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A
female
reader, breezieworthy +, writes (22 July 2008):
ok!First of all sex isnt everything.Just because your boyfriend wont have sex with you is a very stupied reason to get upset sex only leads to mistakes if your not ready for the responsiblity that follows and if your really young it will ruin your life and your reputation if you have sex to early i was 18 when i lost my virginity to my now husband i was still in my senior year of high school and ive been pregnant 3 times in the past year and lost all three so maybe you should think your boyfriend may not be ready to have sex because he's thinking of the consquences that can happen as far as you feeling hurt about the situation do alittle pros and cons list are you really ready for what can happen if you loose your virginity to the wrong guy and or loose it tosomeone whos had to partners
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A
male
reader, coolicoolicool +, writes (22 July 2008):
 well first of all, how old are you. and second of all, if he's just kinda ignoring you, maybe he's not ready. my advice to you would be to just give it some time. sincerely - coolicoolicool
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