A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:hello hawell i have a boyfriend that is five years older than me .... and he and i have been dating for 3 months already? ihave played with myself many times but i might have told him a lie and idk what to do about it ... well i told him iwasnt a virgin cuss iremember once speakin to him before we dated and he said he woulldnt date a virgin so know hes asked me why ihavnt done anything and im afraid that if we do it he will notice that istill am a virgin so kan a quyy tell wen he popss the cherry? and is there anything ikould say to make it sem like ididnt lie to him??? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, DrPsych  +, writes (4 December 2010):
 STTTTOOPPPPPPPPPP...it doesn't matter that you are a virgin at your age (or any age!). A man can sometimes tell if you are a virgin as they might sense the hymen and you might bleed a tiny bit on first intercourse. However, this biology lesson is utterly irrelevant to the whole situation. The fact that you cannot talk to your boyfriend about this is a big red flag - this is not a relationship of equals. He should be enormously flattered that you would contemplate losing your virginity to him. It is nothing to be ashamed about. If he thinks that dating virgins is dull, he is an immature fool who is stating his preference for sex over the person he is actually dating. I can see that you are quite young and this person is older than you. The fact that he is trying to persuade you to have sex with him at such a young age is a really bad sign. You have got to ask yourself why he is not dating women his own age, and why he putting himself in a position where he could be prosecuted for statutory rape (assuming the law of consent in your state is 16). Normally I don't have a problem with age-gap relationships but when person is under-age and the other is an adult then you have got to ask questions. He maybe unable to meet young adult women to experiment on sexually, so he is picking on someone younger who is easier to influence. I think you have got to be careful with him - if you anticipate that he won't forgive your 'lie' and you cannot talk to him, what are you thinking of sleeping with him for? I appreciate that it must appear cool to have an older boyfriend as a teenage girl but this is your body at the end of the day and you alone must decide what you want to do (or not do). It is better to be single, than dating the wrong man. Just take care!
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